Hello 2012!

Happy New Year! We went to a wedding last night and the boys spent the night at camp Crosby. All is quiet this morning and I have time to catch up. Lots of catching up to do.

The second half of 2011 was a busy one. Milestones all over the place. I haven’t written in forever because it’s been busy (to say the least) but it’s also daunting to catch up when so much has happened. To talk myself into writing a post, I have told myself before it’s not necessary to document everything that’s gone on since the last post… The pep talk hasn’t worked. I still haven’t managed to put anything down in a looooong while.

I think because I want to at least hit the highlights. It’s New Year’s day. So, a look back at the year seems apropos. Here goes.

In June we had a new addition to the family. Charlotte, AKA Charlie, is a total love bug and has been the best puppy imaginable. She’s still learning her manners but already she has wiggled her way into the deepest part of our hearts with her Labradoodle love.

On Independence Day, I typed a resignation letter and left the comfort zone I’d known for 15 years at Communications Plus. I am over the need to hash through the particulars. I will just say, in many conversations since I have likened it to a divorce. Painful. Necessary. Liberating. I am proud to report the new company, BrightSpot, is up and running full steam ahead. Erika and I just secured a small office space after being at our respective dining room tables for nearly six months. Business is good. We’re so fortunate to have each other, the support of great clients and encouragement from family, good friends and colleagues.

In August Grant started Kindergarten. Our walks to school are some of my most favorite times. It’s a time to talk. And I love to take in whatever it is he thinks to share. I love that we walk to school and that he says hello to friends and faculty along the way. I love that the principal says hello to both of us by name. A lot of energy has gone toward creating this experience in the last few years. Standing in his Kindergarten classroom with a handful of involved parents, helping with a holiday party felt like a reward for the effort. It’s a warm fuzzy.

His favorite part of school is recess—PE running a close second. Stands to reason. He’s been driving past that playground his entire life. He is working diligently to master the monkey bars. He’s also learning to read—a task he finds frustrating sometimes, but he’s working at it. Getting in the groove of homework and adding it to the routine has been something we’ve all had to learn.

September breezed by with PTO todos for the fall carnival, soccer for G, and a busy month at work. Literally, everything on tap in life and work was complete/due the last week in September… And then we took a deep breath of fall air.

In October I wrote (but never posted) this:

October 29

I haven’t written in months. I’ve composed a dialogue for this space many times in my head since my last post but time has been short. Life has been in the process of the next evolution. I’ve been in flux to say the least. Rather than hash through the flux in report form, I think I’ll just say that this week the flux feeling has waned.

Halloween approaching, fall in the air. I found a stride where true happiness crept in. What is it about this time of year that brings joy? For me, October must be what December is for so many people… True joy.

A pause and smile inspired from the sound of my three boys singing five little pumpkins in the bathroom during bath time. Joy noticed while decorating our yard with ghosts and visiting with neighbors on the first day a hint of dry, chilly air came through. A sense that it’d be “fun” to make cupcakes and then actually doing it! Hosting good friends pre and post Halloween parade in the park. The smell of a spicy candle filling the living room. The taste of a chai tea latte… Life is good. And something about fall always reminds me so. Something about fall, makes me pause. Breathe. Appreciate. Renew.

I venture I am not the only one experiencing moments of “pinch me” at the Casa. Football season is in full swing. The World Series has just ended. Kindergarten is cool as all get out. And turning two… rocks!

B turned two on the16th. When I look at photos from just one year ago. I see a complete and total transformation from baby to boy. Sigh. Again, I would love to hold on to that baby. Stop time… I will miss the smell of honey he emits when he sleeps.

I didn’t really finish the Barrett report then… So here’s the synopsis. Barrett went from a few words in October to full sentences these days. Sometimes instructional sentences with a very specific “are you understanding me?” tone, a pointed figure and a stern brow … He is very sure of what he wants and uses his words to be certain everyone else is sure, too.

The Paci (called a Fabi by B) remains a great love in his life but is reserved for bed time now. He also loves his blankets and routinely carries three full sized blankets around the house. Goodnight Moon is still his favorite bedtime book… He is the easiest child to put to bed, often putting himself to bed by wandering into him room on his own. He is a cuddle kid. When he’s sweet, he’s the sweetest. His tone of voice sounds like a Mogwai. You know the “nice gremlin?” But don’t feed him after midnight… there’s a gremlin in there too!

He still has this need throw things on a table onto the floor. Books on the table? Let’s toss them on the floor! A full box of crayons… to him it’s as if they NEED to be on the kitchen floor. And he knows not his strength or how to be gentle and soft. He’s fast. He climbs. He’s busy busy busy. Just like Thomas the Train and his friends. You know the song? B does. It’s one of his favorites. For his birthday we went to ride the train in Hermann Park. When it started to pull out of the station he whaled… ultimately deciding it was OK. But not so sure at first.

His favorite shirt is red with a truck on it. I think in part because his brother wears red to school every day. We wash that shirt a lot. We may have to make it into a commemorative something when he outgrows it (in about 2.2 minutes).

He loves to play with balls and has quite an arm on him. Christmas morning he threw a full sized basketball across the living room. Lucky for us he didn’t hit the tree… or Grammy… Always gotta have your “heads up” with Mr. B. Cannot turn your back for a split second with that one. Something Dad learned all too well the other day when he found a blue marker and took it to the sofa… thank heaven for washable markers.

For Thanksgiving we traveled to both Austin and Dallas. Eve and her family were in Austin and spending time with them and letting the kids play made me wish we saw them more often. It was a great trip… Thanksgiving in Dallas remains one of my favorite times of year. Good family time. Good food. The start of the holidays… We took the Polar Express ride in Grapevine and got in the spirit. All the travels were smooth as could be until Charlie tossed her cookies in Grant’s lap just outside of Houston on the road home. Brave big boy managed it well… but no one likes to be puked on.

At the start of December we ventured to a Christmas tree farm with the Sorensen’s. The day we planned ended up being bad weather but it made the adventure all the better. Grant and Anders each cut down a Christmas tree and we had a great picnic before heading home to a pot of chili and the task of lighting and decorating. I’ll end that story by saying that today I plan to purchase an artificial tree on sale.

The rest of December flew by. Aunt Laura visited. We had a drama free holiday … Nana, Papa, Grammy and Nathan stayed with us. We all enjoyed Martinez Christmas Eve in Crosby… even though we left the gifts at home… all was well that ended well. Santa was good to us all.

I turned 38 a couple days ago. A highlight of the holiday was celebrating with my neighbor friends the other night. I’d be bothered about my new age except Christian turns 39 in a couple weeks. That seems a lot worse. We both agree it doesn’t seem possible that we’ve just welcomed 2012 and that we’re pushing 40. Time is marching on. And the little feet in our house are growing every day… I mean both boys are forever in need of new shoes.

So here we are 2012. Welcome. I gotta say I am glad to see 2011 gone. A new leaf has officially turned. It’s a new year and it’s going to be a Bright one. Last year my theme word was movement. I accomplished that. I got my body in motion (need to get back on that wagon ASAP). I also fulfilled my commitment to forward motion at work in 2011. Life looks completely different to me than it did a year ago.

It's a loud life

I should be heading to bed, or working on that proposal that's due... but what I also need is a charge. Recharge. And a reminder of all the good going on at the casa. Feeling in the grind rather than in the groove at the moment... sigh. No complaints. Just in search of a diversion while I enjoy a little late night quiet.

Was thinking about the list of things I want to remember about the Bear just yesterday evening... like how he says, "no no no bebe" in the sweetest little voice and also screams almost constantly between the hours of 5:30 and 6:30 p.m. nightly. The contrast in our lives from moment to moment is comical. Nothing you can do but laugh the longer the screaming goes on.

He has also just this weekend started taking my finger and saying "me, me... " as in "come with me mom I have something to show you." Often he wants to show me his juice cup in the fridge or the back door and how it leads to the OUTSIDE. Uhm- it was 105 the other day... it's going to be a long hot summer and being in the heat doesn't help my ability to be the patient and loving mother I strive to be.

My favorite, and one I hope to capture on video, is his rendition of the Darth Vader music. Dum dum dum, da-da dum, da-da dum. da, da da, Dum-da-dum da-da dum. Always gets the first three notes. Mind you, all those da das under his belt and he calls Daddy, "Mahhhhh." It's different than ma ma. But it's definitely not Dada. or Deeda. or anything close to Dad. We've got father's day coming up... maybe he can make the connection in time.

By the way, he could be in the middle of singing this tune and if someone says it's time to brush teeth he is off and running to the bathroom, scooting around the tight corner like a cartoon character bouncing on its heel...A guaranteed obedient/happy moment in the day. Maybe he'll take on the family business someday. The kid loves to brush.

Having B around is like having Godzilla in the living room sometimes. He throws his cup... he whacks things off the coffee table... The other day at the pool he was walking around the grounds pushing the white plastic chairs over. One at a time. Left arm, Right arm. Taking them out... because he can. And after the destruction and screaming and food all over the floor... he settles in smelling like pure honey. It's like he breathes honey past 8 p.m. At the day's end, he wants to rock and snuggle in. He will put his little hand on my shoulder and pat me three times... just like I do to him. Little Bear. Growing so fast. 20 months already. Barely any baby left...

And then there's G-man. The only baby left in that boy is this baby talk thing that makes me insane. INSANE! We're trying to break him of it... And then there's the recurring, "I love you mama" or "I love you daddy" that comes out of nowhere, a sincere gift every time. We hope it lasts forever. I guess it balances out.

Dressed as a sheep with specially requested horns, G started the pre-k graduation by leading the Pledge. I always said he has the right hair for politics. God help him. Since becoming a graduate, he's been at Camp at school and having a blast. Movies, swimming, library, game day...Today they did Zumba...I don't think the summer boredom thing is on his horizon. Although he has seemed to pick up the word boring from the older kids. "Ohhhhh but that will be so booooooooring," he said when I asked him to help me snap green beans last night... Of course once we were eating he wanted full credit for the beans.

This was in between renditions of the same song over and over again at full volume. At the table.I finally joined in singing it as loud as I could without scaring B. And then I whispered it to see if he took the lead. It didn't take. Singing is his new thing. Along with a top called a Bey Blade that has entertained him exclusively for days now. Who needs a video game? A top. It's all the rage. Seeeeeeeee, simple pleasures. Smile.

There's so much more... so much! But that's all I have for tonight... along with this thought. Remember that scene in Say Anything when they have the volume turned up above the red line? We spend a lot of time above the volume line at the Casa. The music of our lives is loud.

A Five Star Restaurant Experience

Parental stripes. Medals of honor. Badges for bravery. I have this invisible patch I where on my shoulder. Parenthood deserves acknowledgement. So every now and then I award myself another star.

I developed this system at a truck stop, Thanksgiving 2006, when I threw Grant’s soiled clothes in the garbage. There was no other option. Awwww. My first star. The memories.

Quite a few of these “awards” have to do with poop. In fact, each of us earned a couple last week when Barrett and the rest of his class had it out with the craziest stomach bug to curse our house (yet). B even got a star of his own for bravery as he puked time and again…

Despite the constant amount of crazy in our life, after five years in uniform there are days when you feel like you’ve got the gig under control. There are days when you think for a minute you may have seen it all. Except something tells you there’s another surprise just around the corner. Such was the case tonight.

The boys needed hair cuts. It’s Easter weekend and my camera is charging. I have a vision, of the two of them, angelic in pastel blue and white, carrying their baskets and holding hands…

A girl can dream even it never quite looks the same in real life. Real life looks good too. It’s just wearing rain boots and carrying a water gun. Exhibit A: Easter Sunday 2009.

Anyhoo, Dad picked the kids up from school. I met them there in order to art direct the stylists. I am sure they love that…

The hair cut evening ritual involves moving from the barber chair next door to the pizza place. It was the usual chaos at dinner. Lots of bending over and picking up cups and forks. Lots of entertaining the troops while waiting for pizza to arrive. Attempts at conversation but lots of interrupted thoughts. Good news is we each had managed to down an adult beverage before the shit hit the fan. Literally.

When we noticed B was making THAT face we motioned to the waitress to bring the check. We were without a diaper bag on this venture. No life raft. No pacifier. No wipes. No diaper. No mention of who left home without the pack.

Of course, nothing would have really made a difference about the poop that had run down B’s leg onto his shoes, pooled in the high chair and dripped onto the floor…

The aroma was mixing with garlic and filling the air in the small restaurant when the waitress clued in and brought us a towel. She also brought the check. God bless her.

Deeda rushed to the parking lot his arms straight out – Mr. B dangling, dripping and laughing. G followed giggling. I signed the check. Tipped double. Wiped poo with paper napkins from the high chair and made a special request they take extra care in cleaning the high chair before the next child came along… Oh to think of the times our children have licked public high chairs…

By the time I arrived in the parking lot B had one shoe and one sock off. I bent down to get the rest and strategized with Christian about the next course of action. I give us extra points for generally laughing the entire time.

Thankfully G had a beach towel in the car from his picnic day at school. So we wrapped B up like a burrito and buckled him in. I’ve already blocked out most of the drive home but I do remember turning around to make sure he didn’t have his hands in his mouth to see him smiling, clapping and laughing. Meanwhile G was interjecting on our front seat strategy session with offers to hose him down. You could tell, big brother was frothed he might get to squirt him with a hose.

And so we hosed him down, bathed him, bleached him and put him to bed. Poo smell has permeated my nose hairs, but I am trying to kill it with a stiff drink. To quote one of G's favorite phrases, "Iiiit's the weeeeeeekend!" Easter weekend.

And then it was March (almost).

At risk of sounding like a broken record, I’ll go ahead and say it. I don’t know where the time goes.

I spent the entire day today on retreat in Galveston with one scrapbooking group of mamas. As I culled through a year’s worth of memories and put them in albums, I relived so many days we’ve spent with friends and family. That is why my work here is important. More time than I’d like passes between posts, but I do my best to record the big days and the little things here at the casa.

Since it’s been a while, I once again find myself tempted to attempt to recap e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. BUT in keeping with my theme for the year of forward motion, I am going to spend less time dwelling in the past and do my best to sum it up fairly quickly. Here’s the highlights real. Then I’ll finish with current events.

Christmas came again. My personal favorite part was a relatively quiet Christmas morning just the four of us. It was actually pretty noisy with the sound of new toys and squeals in the air but that’s the sound of Christmas. I venture G’s favorite part had to do with one Nerf Gun. A close second would be the whoopi cusion uncle Nathan brought. B’s favorite is a stuffed Mickey Mouse Santa brought. To this day, if you ask him where Mickey is, he will hold his hands up in wonder and go walking around to find him.

January brought good news. Nennie and Grandaddy are moving to Houston. Grandaddy is already here working and Nennie will follow when Aunt Alyssa heads to college in the fall. We’re so excited and looking forward to much more time together. We celebrated Deeda’s birthday with a memorable meal at Hearsay Gastro Pub. The mac n’ cheese took mac n’ cheese to new heights. I wrote down the cheeses included. The Jalepeno cocktail was also delish and Deeda was beside himself to find his favorite, Tres Generations.

This January we also tackled a project I set out to do last January-update our master bedroom. Thanks to Nana’s savvy shopping skills and design ideas we have a whole new look and we didn’t even break the bank. It was a bargain bonanza! Let’s just say $7.95 curtain panels.

February is our third and running birthday month at our house. Unfortunately, we started it out with a case of the flu that took out the entire Pre-K at G’s school. I may not have known this had I not called most of the class to reschedule his birthday party. Ultimately, we had one heckuva Jedi Training Star Wars party. Deeda did a bang up job developing Jedi lessons and making a movie with our family in the staring rolls of a funny Star Wars remake. Many points for Master Deeda. Props to G-man too for trying his very best to rally on the day his party would have been. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

While we’re on Star Wars, I also have to mention my post over at the Communications Plus blog. Once again, Volkswagon spoke to me. I’d swear directly. I seem to have always fallen into their target market.

I can’t let February’s recap go by without mentioning the viral rash/hives that took over Barrett’s body and changed shape daily for four days before disappearing as if nothing ever happened. Let’s just say, when I first saw him, I was woozy as if I might pass out. Best thing I can say about that long week is that while G recovered from the flu and got legal to go back to school, and B endured the rash in good spirits, we had a few days of togetherness we wouldn’t have had otherwise. In the midst of it, the sickness thing is stressful. Not only do my babies not feel well, but I feel stressed by missing work. The balancing act just gets more complicated. But on the other side, when the dust settles for a minute, I almost always look at it as an opportunity I had to hug them tighter, spend more hours in the day together and all in all become more aware of how grateful we are for two children who spend the majority of their days healthy and happy.

And here we are. Almost March. The rodeo season is kicking off with the cook off. The CP gang and spouses attended last night along with special guests Grandaddy and Uncle John. Thanks to our wonderful hosts/friends from Busters BBQ in Lakeway, we had a boot scootin’ good time.

So that’s the recap. What about today? Today B is getting two more teeth. That must be close to a mouthful… He loves to snuggle with his brother. And G tolerates it with patience and tenderness. G is super engrossed in star wars Legos. We go next week to register him for Kindergarten.

Tonight I am missing my boys. It’s been a very busy week with events each of the last three nights and though this time with my memories and my friends is wonderful, It will be equally as god to get home and settle in for another week.

Signing off. Let’s hope posts in 2011 are more frequent than quarterly.

Fastest. Fall. Ever.

Nutshell version in the something is better than nothing category.

October 4: Return from five lovely days in Mexico with Deeda. Barrett is walking!
October 9: Quick beach trip with the neighborhood gang.

October 16: B’s Bday. One. What? When? How? Sniff. Sniff.
October 24: Dewberry Farms for Tal's bday.

October 31: Halloween. School festival. Park Parade. Trick or treating and chocolate eating.
November 4: Touchdown, Washington, D.C. Megan Slack’s Wedding, Brunch with the Butera clan, a lot of walking, a cucumber mojito (or two) and one tired mama.
November 9: Livingston for the day. No rest for the weary.
November 10: Texas Conference for Women rocked and inspired.
November 12: Boulder bound. Buffs win. Party Party with old pals. There was a mechanical bull. There was a marvelous brunch.
November 20: Deeda goes to College Station. Aggies beat Nebraska. Record crowd!
November 24: Road Trip! Turkey Day in Dallas. Aggies win.
December 1: What month is it? Weren’t we on a beach in Playa a minute ago?
December 4: Tamale day. It’s official. The holiday season is here.
December 5: Santa came to the Sasser’s Christmas party. It's really official now.

Whew! It's been a whirlwind, but the best kind. We are so blessed with family and friends and our world revolved around both this fall.

In other news, today Barrett said "Bye-Bye" and blew a kiss for the first time. I melted.
He also says uh-oh, Mama, and all done.

G is beginning to read and loving his field trips. Today they went to see a Christmas play! He’s grown a full inch since mid-October and often just says for no reason at all, “Mom (0r dad), I love you.”

One.

Yesterday we celebrated B’s first birthday! At 10:33 a.m. I was rocking him for a nap. I noted the time, squeezed him tight and exhaled.

Something about one year birthdays are big to me. I remember feeling the exact same way at G’s first birthday. I felt like celebrating. I felt like I needed to take a deep breath.

I feel like I have been holding my breath a lot. Especially in the first few months. The fragile early, early days… The days that run together. When I try to think of those days now, I remember two days in particular. One day I consciously decided to do nothing but hold B and watch movies all day. We watched “Marley and Me.” The other stand out day was the day it snowed big huge flakes. The rest just runs together…

And then all of the sudden three months had gone by and it’s time to go back to “normal” life. And by the time everyone adjusts to the heartache of daycare drop offs and the daily schedule, six months has gone by. Total blur. That’s about the time I came to and get in enough of a rhythm to start trying to take in every little milestone. Next thing you know baby is mobile and everyone is just trying to keep up.

Add to the mix of life an especially crazy few months at the office, a shoulder surgery for deeda, and a much needed vacation for deeda and mama, and poof! Here we are. One year old! “And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?...Letting the days go by…."

As if at the moment he turned one he wouldn’t be a baby anymore, I spent a lot of time in the last weeks holding him closer and rocking him for longer than usual. And then the day came. And it went. On the flip side of the big birthday, I feel relief. He’s still a baby (for a little while longer, at least).

Friends and family joined us for a beautiful day. We had pumpkin cupcakes. Carmel apple dip. Popcorn. Bags of juice, wine and beer. We took the afternoon into evening with good friends. G may have had more fun than anyone... He got to open presents and have all his friends over.

As I get used to the idea of B being one. I get excited about what’s next. His personality is starting to show. Verbal communication is on the horizon! Formula’s days are numbered. When I think about it that way, I don’t know why I have this urge to cling to the babyhood. It‘s hard work! And they aren’t lying when they say it just gets better. Every year that has passed since G turned one has been more fun than the last.

I guess the clinging is just that they generally let you hold them and cuddle them at this age. And they smell so darn good. Boys don’t smell good the more they grow… pretty soon we’ll be one of those families that has to buy three gallons of milk at a time and we’ll have odor eaters on a regular rotation. I just flashed forward to imagine B at 10 and G at 13…

While we wait for the next milestones to arrive, here’s what I know about B at one year.

• The Bear is a lover. A real cuddle-bear. Has been from the get go.


• He is Zen-like easy going unless he’s hungry, tired or you need him to be still.


• He eats like a champ and likes almost everything he’s tried. However, it’s important to know he has an affinity to fruit and starches. If you offer him either of these first, all bets are off for whatever else is on the plate.


• He doesn’t do scheduled naps, but he does sleep like a champ. He’s slept consistently all night since about three months...


• He would climb the Empire State Building without hesitation, but he’s tentative about taking more than 4 or 5 steps at a time. Maybe it’s the feet. If he were a puppy I’d predict Great Dane at full size.


• He wants to walk all the time but since he thinks he needs a hand, he recruits whoever he can to tour with him around the house. He had Pops, Papa Mark and Uncle John on rotation yesterday.


• He wakes up happy and sings to himself while he patiently awaits the arrival of a groggy parent in his doorway. And when we arrive, his little head pops up and he breaks a smile you can barely see from behind the paci, but can completely see in his eyes.


• When he says mama, I melt. He also says all done, yeah and a-da (which is code for dada).


• He will tell you how it is if you had him a telephone. He gets the device is for talking.


• He loves his brother and any attention he gives him. G’s fake whistle is a particular crack up.


• He usually waves with both hands. He doesn’t wave on command as much as when he feels like it. He particularly feels like waving while riding in his new blue car.


• When he smiles he wrinkles his nose and puts his teeth together like a professional. He loves to see the camera come out and is usually good for a few smiles before he resorts to trying to get a hold of the camera.


• When he’s happiest, he laughs a noise that sounds something like a cold car starting. Eaaaaaaack! Eaaaaaack! Eaaaaaaack!
  
  

Couldn't leave off without a photo of G. He's a wonderfully giving brother. He was kind enough to open all of B's presents for him... in addition to giving his brother his own beloved "BC" blanket and pillow. All on his own he initiated this thoughtful gift of his own secuirty blanket and offered it the very first thing on the morning of B's birthday. He has the biggest heart!

Freeze Frame

A snapshot of our life: This evening there was some confusion between the words piñata and piano at our house. For a few minutes there, G had us all completely confused. He knew he had it wrong but every time he opened his mouth to say piano, piñata came out. We all laughed and he finally got it right…

Got to cherish those moments. The look on G’s face as he sounded out the word syllable for syllable, the prideful giggle that followed and the exchange of a glance between me and Deeda. The little things that prove G is still a little kid. The reminders are few and further between.

He just looks more mature in the face. He wears fancy tennis shoes and has favorite T-shirts he knows are cool. He sings Cheeseburger in Paradise and names the Foo Fighters as his favorite band. When Deeda carries him to the bathroom to brush teeth (a ritual 'round here) he looks long and his feet look huge. He is long. His feet are huge. Size 11.5 (and I have a size 12 in waiting). Other than the occasional vocab slip up or teary tired moment, the kid has really grown in the last few months. He’s writing his name, sounding letters and doing simple math at school. I think about where he was at the time of B’s birth and it seems like he’s come nearly as far as the little one. Leaps and bounds.

Of course, I feel like I could literally see B grow if I looked closely. It’s insane. At bedtime these days, we say “night-night.” He waves! And we go rock. We moved the rocker into his room about when he stopped falling asleep in the middle of whatever chaos was going on in the living room. Still the easiest child to put to bed, he’s typically asleep before I can sing a single round of Twinkle Twinkle. Rocking him to sleep is a pure joy and every night I hold him for a while as he sleeps so I can appreciate his babyhood. It’s the kind of moment I know I have to soak up. It’s the kind of moment that, tonight at 7:42, inspired me to get this entire thought process on paper.
Here we are and already B is ten months and a few days. It’s time to order birthday invitations. He’s been on the outside longer than it took to “grow him.” These are the last couple of months we count in measures of months... Sippy cups are in play. Bottles are less frequent… Crawling is turbo-charged and standing and stepping from one piece of furniture to another close by is a favorite game along with Peek-a-boo.

Tonight as we rocked I was thinking about how these are the best months of babyhood. There’s a routine in our life that’s in greater than three hour increments. Plus, he’s got all kinds of interactive tricks that are very entertaining. Most importantly, he’s still a baby by most accounts. He still feels like a baby, with his head in the corner of my arm, even if his feet are sticking out from under the other arm a quarter of a mile…He still looks like a baby in his footy PJ’s with his paci. He still sounds like a baby when he cries to be picked up or because I took my phone out of his hand… And he still smells like a baby just after bath and when he spits up all over his shirt each and EVERY morning when we put him in the car seat to go to school (there’s a magic button or something).

It’s in these months, the second time around (and almost certainly the last time for us) that I feel like I fully realize and appreciate the importance of soaking up the baby things before they completely disappear. And it’s this feeling—that can feel like sadness from time to time—that turns into the most genuine gratitude I have ever felt. All is right in the world for a few minutes while we rock. It’s this feeling—that can feel like sadness from time to time—that has me living more in the moment than I have since I was a child myself.

Ask my other half, I have been guilty on many occasions of making myself miserable by trying to look waaaaay down the road. I’ve wanted a detailed photo of what the future looked like. I wanted promises and guarantees. I didn’t realize it before now, but as a mom, I’ve flip-flopped. In fact, I’ve nearly neglected the future. Since G was born, I’ve been so focused on right now I haven’t looked down the road much… too busy to think beyond right this minute. This weekend. This month. Unless you’re trying to plan something with us, in which case as much advanced warning as possible is critical to getting on the agenda. We’ve got a lot of obligations you know. Always something…

I am in the process of balancing the future with the now. Living in the now—which is more than getting through the day. Planning for tomorrow, while appreciating tonight. Both are important. The kids grow up… all too soon, the kids grow up… When it comes to aging, the future always seems to arrive quickly. The future is all on the brain these days. It’s unclear in a lot of respects. I am thinking about how I want five years from now to look. 10 years from now. 20. In a good way, not the paralyzing way of the past.

In the mean time, I know this for sure: these days of being the parents of young children are a short time in our life. In reality it’s just a few years. I want to make the very most of them. So, that when we look back, it feels like longer than it was. It feels like longer than it was because there are so many wonderful memories made in this time—the short time is so rich.

I can draw a parallel to college. It was only four years (thank you very much), but so much happened during that time—it was such a great time—that when I look back it seems like a majority of my life's memory. In actuality, it was just a small fraction. And real quick, while on that topic, I’ll just add how excited I am about the plans in the works for the fall. Boulder, here we come.

We celebrated my uncle Steve’s 70th birthday over the weekend. A friend of his he’s known since he was 7 or 8 years old attended the gathering. That’s so cool. I hope my oldest friends make it to my 70th. I feel certain for Steve and his childhood friend David, “life moved pretty fast” (I loosely quote Ferris Bueller). Happy Birthday Steve!

At the same party, I visited with a friend and her 18 year old son. I remember when he was probably 5 or 6. Basically G’s age. How did he get to be 18? So. Fast. It was a couple days after the party that I saw a photo of the same mother and son on Facebook and it brought me to tears. I am certain it seems like yesterday that she sent him off to Kindergarten. I see in his face the little boy he was… but it’s just barely there. I see in her eyes the pride in what he’s become…Freaks me out. Here’s why…

On Monday we marked the first day of school and the first annual Boo Hoo Breakfast for my neighborhood circle of moms. It was an occasion worthy of a vacation day in the name of fun, total relaxation and distraction for a mama worried about her baby on his first day. I was happy to support my dear friend (with mimosas) when she returned from walking her little boy to the school around the corner for Kindergarten. I remember being 23 thinking my coworker was crazy when she showed up teary on the first day of school. I had no idea. But now. Now! I know that this school year will fly by and in the blink of an eye it will be my turn to take my first BABY to school. And about a minute after that, it will be Baby B’s turn… Make it stop. Just for a minute. Freeze the frame.


Remember this scene from Big? I couldn't find the whole thing... but this gives you the idea. It does seem like they grow up overnight sometimes.