One.

Yesterday we celebrated B’s first birthday! At 10:33 a.m. I was rocking him for a nap. I noted the time, squeezed him tight and exhaled.

Something about one year birthdays are big to me. I remember feeling the exact same way at G’s first birthday. I felt like celebrating. I felt like I needed to take a deep breath.

I feel like I have been holding my breath a lot. Especially in the first few months. The fragile early, early days… The days that run together. When I try to think of those days now, I remember two days in particular. One day I consciously decided to do nothing but hold B and watch movies all day. We watched “Marley and Me.” The other stand out day was the day it snowed big huge flakes. The rest just runs together…

And then all of the sudden three months had gone by and it’s time to go back to “normal” life. And by the time everyone adjusts to the heartache of daycare drop offs and the daily schedule, six months has gone by. Total blur. That’s about the time I came to and get in enough of a rhythm to start trying to take in every little milestone. Next thing you know baby is mobile and everyone is just trying to keep up.

Add to the mix of life an especially crazy few months at the office, a shoulder surgery for deeda, and a much needed vacation for deeda and mama, and poof! Here we are. One year old! “And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?...Letting the days go by…."

As if at the moment he turned one he wouldn’t be a baby anymore, I spent a lot of time in the last weeks holding him closer and rocking him for longer than usual. And then the day came. And it went. On the flip side of the big birthday, I feel relief. He’s still a baby (for a little while longer, at least).

Friends and family joined us for a beautiful day. We had pumpkin cupcakes. Carmel apple dip. Popcorn. Bags of juice, wine and beer. We took the afternoon into evening with good friends. G may have had more fun than anyone... He got to open presents and have all his friends over.

As I get used to the idea of B being one. I get excited about what’s next. His personality is starting to show. Verbal communication is on the horizon! Formula’s days are numbered. When I think about it that way, I don’t know why I have this urge to cling to the babyhood. It‘s hard work! And they aren’t lying when they say it just gets better. Every year that has passed since G turned one has been more fun than the last.

I guess the clinging is just that they generally let you hold them and cuddle them at this age. And they smell so darn good. Boys don’t smell good the more they grow… pretty soon we’ll be one of those families that has to buy three gallons of milk at a time and we’ll have odor eaters on a regular rotation. I just flashed forward to imagine B at 10 and G at 13…

While we wait for the next milestones to arrive, here’s what I know about B at one year.

• The Bear is a lover. A real cuddle-bear. Has been from the get go.


• He is Zen-like easy going unless he’s hungry, tired or you need him to be still.


• He eats like a champ and likes almost everything he’s tried. However, it’s important to know he has an affinity to fruit and starches. If you offer him either of these first, all bets are off for whatever else is on the plate.


• He doesn’t do scheduled naps, but he does sleep like a champ. He’s slept consistently all night since about three months...


• He would climb the Empire State Building without hesitation, but he’s tentative about taking more than 4 or 5 steps at a time. Maybe it’s the feet. If he were a puppy I’d predict Great Dane at full size.


• He wants to walk all the time but since he thinks he needs a hand, he recruits whoever he can to tour with him around the house. He had Pops, Papa Mark and Uncle John on rotation yesterday.


• He wakes up happy and sings to himself while he patiently awaits the arrival of a groggy parent in his doorway. And when we arrive, his little head pops up and he breaks a smile you can barely see from behind the paci, but can completely see in his eyes.


• When he says mama, I melt. He also says all done, yeah and a-da (which is code for dada).


• He will tell you how it is if you had him a telephone. He gets the device is for talking.


• He loves his brother and any attention he gives him. G’s fake whistle is a particular crack up.


• He usually waves with both hands. He doesn’t wave on command as much as when he feels like it. He particularly feels like waving while riding in his new blue car.


• When he smiles he wrinkles his nose and puts his teeth together like a professional. He loves to see the camera come out and is usually good for a few smiles before he resorts to trying to get a hold of the camera.


• When he’s happiest, he laughs a noise that sounds something like a cold car starting. Eaaaaaaack! Eaaaaaack! Eaaaaaaack!
  
  

Couldn't leave off without a photo of G. He's a wonderfully giving brother. He was kind enough to open all of B's presents for him... in addition to giving his brother his own beloved "BC" blanket and pillow. All on his own he initiated this thoughtful gift of his own secuirty blanket and offered it the very first thing on the morning of B's birthday. He has the biggest heart!