Welcome Barrett

I’ve started to do this at least five times and left the cursor blinking to tend to you know who…today , I picked back up about 10 a.m., it’s 2:10 p.m. and three interrupted sittings later, I am calling it done. It’s not complete. It’s not even close… but the blog feels like this big “to do” right now.

Barrett is 25 days old and catching up with the last 3 and a half weeks seems impossible in the windows of time I have. There are so many details in every day I’d love to record....from the dimples on the child’s hands to the fuzz that covers nearly his entire body…

Maybe later I can post details… for now, I will offer up the basics in hopes that I can mentally cross “blog” off my list of things to do for a few days.

Barrett Christian was born Friday, October 16 at 10:33 a.m. He weighed 9 lbs and 12 oz and was 21” long. Big boy! Beautiful boy (though I may biased). My regular doctor had the swine flu (I bet we laugh about that some day), so we didn’t know the delivery docs but it worked out just fine in the end.

Biggest baby on our hospital floor. But he didn’t look big to me. He looked tiny… ten tiny fingers. Ten tiny toes. Robust arms and a round face. Tons of dark hair- it’s nearly a mullet… Extends about ½ an inch down the back of his neck. I have to get a photo of that…

In the first few hours he looked totally different than G. By day two it was like déjà vu. I even kept calling him Grant. By week two, he’d transformed yet again… related to Grant but not his twin.

The hospital stay was a bit of a blur. But I have to make note of the first time the little Bear and I locked eyes. He stared at me for a long while, as if to say, “hi mom.”

We came home Monday to a sparkling clean house and a pumpkin cake baking in the oven. Proof that mother’s know what their kids need. Thanks mom. The coming home couldn’t have been more perfect!

Generally speaking, recovering from this C-section has been easier than carrying a nearly 10 lb baby around in my belly. I had good meds, which I realize now made me a little loopy. But they also allowed me to happily welcome a steady stream of visitors. At one point the day on the birthday, I counted 12 people in my hospital room. And it was a tiny, tiny room.

We are so blessed with family and friends who have come with gifts, food and hugs. So many people made special efforts to meet B, feed us and help big brother feel special ,too. I also can’t help but recognize with a big warm fuzzy heart how our circle of friends has grown since the time Grant was born. I’ll say it again, we’re so blessed!

G is about the best big brother I can imagine him being. He runs to get things we need, he asks to hold his brother, kisses him gently, talks to him and perhaps the cutest of all, brings him toys to play with… The moment we put our eyes on Barrett was tearful and amazing and all that you can’t even begin to really imagine. The moment Grant met him was equally as wonderful.



I believe it was day 7 or 8 that I officially gave up breast feeding. In actuality, I think it was day four. It just took the extra days for me to admit it to myself. For some readers this may seem like TMI, but it’s an essential part of the story of the last several weeks.

I didn’t want to give up. I had studied up. I had called for consultants. I had promised myself we’d give it the old college try. I also promised myself, I wouldn’t make myself crazy about it… and then I found myself going crazy about it. It was making me and Barrett cry. So I had a talk with myself (and several friends) and gave it up along with that cloud of guilt that somehow appeared again, even though I thought I knew better this time around.

And to all that I just have to add that this motherhood gig is complicated. The animal instinct to protect, feed and nurture is intense. And it kinda messes with your mind… I think it’s because it overrides your mind. It’s instinct to some degree, which can feel out of control sometimes. And let’s face it, this mama has some “issues” with” out of control”... but motherhood has really made me better. Really. It has. Really.

We had the most wonderful Halloween. As per our usual, it was a week-long celebration. We paraded in the park, attended G’s school performance, the annual Bromley block party and trick or treated in the hood. G’s Spiderman costume got plenty of use. And he had some awesome Spidy moves to go with it.



Grammy got to meet B on Sunday after Halloween (special thanks to her taxi service). Then, they left on Tuesday. And here it is a week later and I don’t know what we’ve been up to… days fly by. I planned a quick outing to the office the other day. Planned to go around noon, thinking it might be fun to grab lunch with the girls and catch up… It was four before we made it the 2.5 miles down the road to the office. Four! Such is life with a newborn. Gotta roll with the flow.

Saturday we took both boys to the zoo and later took in a movie thanks to an impromptu babysitting offer from Grams. It was a great day! Though I was totally exhausted Sunday, it was a glimpse of “normalcy.” I am still looking for my groove… trying to figure out how to feed baby, bathe baby (and myself), take a walk or do some of a handful of other projects I’d love to cross off the list. But I am also working to take time to breathe, to stare at B, watch a little daytime television and soak up that baby smell…it’s a special mix: part spit up, part J&J lotion…I don’t know how or why it smells so good!