One.

Yesterday we celebrated B’s first birthday! At 10:33 a.m. I was rocking him for a nap. I noted the time, squeezed him tight and exhaled.

Something about one year birthdays are big to me. I remember feeling the exact same way at G’s first birthday. I felt like celebrating. I felt like I needed to take a deep breath.

I feel like I have been holding my breath a lot. Especially in the first few months. The fragile early, early days… The days that run together. When I try to think of those days now, I remember two days in particular. One day I consciously decided to do nothing but hold B and watch movies all day. We watched “Marley and Me.” The other stand out day was the day it snowed big huge flakes. The rest just runs together…

And then all of the sudden three months had gone by and it’s time to go back to “normal” life. And by the time everyone adjusts to the heartache of daycare drop offs and the daily schedule, six months has gone by. Total blur. That’s about the time I came to and get in enough of a rhythm to start trying to take in every little milestone. Next thing you know baby is mobile and everyone is just trying to keep up.

Add to the mix of life an especially crazy few months at the office, a shoulder surgery for deeda, and a much needed vacation for deeda and mama, and poof! Here we are. One year old! “And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?...Letting the days go by…."

As if at the moment he turned one he wouldn’t be a baby anymore, I spent a lot of time in the last weeks holding him closer and rocking him for longer than usual. And then the day came. And it went. On the flip side of the big birthday, I feel relief. He’s still a baby (for a little while longer, at least).

Friends and family joined us for a beautiful day. We had pumpkin cupcakes. Carmel apple dip. Popcorn. Bags of juice, wine and beer. We took the afternoon into evening with good friends. G may have had more fun than anyone... He got to open presents and have all his friends over.

As I get used to the idea of B being one. I get excited about what’s next. His personality is starting to show. Verbal communication is on the horizon! Formula’s days are numbered. When I think about it that way, I don’t know why I have this urge to cling to the babyhood. It‘s hard work! And they aren’t lying when they say it just gets better. Every year that has passed since G turned one has been more fun than the last.

I guess the clinging is just that they generally let you hold them and cuddle them at this age. And they smell so darn good. Boys don’t smell good the more they grow… pretty soon we’ll be one of those families that has to buy three gallons of milk at a time and we’ll have odor eaters on a regular rotation. I just flashed forward to imagine B at 10 and G at 13…

While we wait for the next milestones to arrive, here’s what I know about B at one year.

• The Bear is a lover. A real cuddle-bear. Has been from the get go.


• He is Zen-like easy going unless he’s hungry, tired or you need him to be still.


• He eats like a champ and likes almost everything he’s tried. However, it’s important to know he has an affinity to fruit and starches. If you offer him either of these first, all bets are off for whatever else is on the plate.


• He doesn’t do scheduled naps, but he does sleep like a champ. He’s slept consistently all night since about three months...


• He would climb the Empire State Building without hesitation, but he’s tentative about taking more than 4 or 5 steps at a time. Maybe it’s the feet. If he were a puppy I’d predict Great Dane at full size.


• He wants to walk all the time but since he thinks he needs a hand, he recruits whoever he can to tour with him around the house. He had Pops, Papa Mark and Uncle John on rotation yesterday.


• He wakes up happy and sings to himself while he patiently awaits the arrival of a groggy parent in his doorway. And when we arrive, his little head pops up and he breaks a smile you can barely see from behind the paci, but can completely see in his eyes.


• When he says mama, I melt. He also says all done, yeah and a-da (which is code for dada).


• He will tell you how it is if you had him a telephone. He gets the device is for talking.


• He loves his brother and any attention he gives him. G’s fake whistle is a particular crack up.


• He usually waves with both hands. He doesn’t wave on command as much as when he feels like it. He particularly feels like waving while riding in his new blue car.


• When he smiles he wrinkles his nose and puts his teeth together like a professional. He loves to see the camera come out and is usually good for a few smiles before he resorts to trying to get a hold of the camera.


• When he’s happiest, he laughs a noise that sounds something like a cold car starting. Eaaaaaaack! Eaaaaaack! Eaaaaaaack!
  
  

Couldn't leave off without a photo of G. He's a wonderfully giving brother. He was kind enough to open all of B's presents for him... in addition to giving his brother his own beloved "BC" blanket and pillow. All on his own he initiated this thoughtful gift of his own secuirty blanket and offered it the very first thing on the morning of B's birthday. He has the biggest heart!

Freeze Frame

A snapshot of our life: This evening there was some confusion between the words piñata and piano at our house. For a few minutes there, G had us all completely confused. He knew he had it wrong but every time he opened his mouth to say piano, piñata came out. We all laughed and he finally got it right…

Got to cherish those moments. The look on G’s face as he sounded out the word syllable for syllable, the prideful giggle that followed and the exchange of a glance between me and Deeda. The little things that prove G is still a little kid. The reminders are few and further between.

He just looks more mature in the face. He wears fancy tennis shoes and has favorite T-shirts he knows are cool. He sings Cheeseburger in Paradise and names the Foo Fighters as his favorite band. When Deeda carries him to the bathroom to brush teeth (a ritual 'round here) he looks long and his feet look huge. He is long. His feet are huge. Size 11.5 (and I have a size 12 in waiting). Other than the occasional vocab slip up or teary tired moment, the kid has really grown in the last few months. He’s writing his name, sounding letters and doing simple math at school. I think about where he was at the time of B’s birth and it seems like he’s come nearly as far as the little one. Leaps and bounds.

Of course, I feel like I could literally see B grow if I looked closely. It’s insane. At bedtime these days, we say “night-night.” He waves! And we go rock. We moved the rocker into his room about when he stopped falling asleep in the middle of whatever chaos was going on in the living room. Still the easiest child to put to bed, he’s typically asleep before I can sing a single round of Twinkle Twinkle. Rocking him to sleep is a pure joy and every night I hold him for a while as he sleeps so I can appreciate his babyhood. It’s the kind of moment I know I have to soak up. It’s the kind of moment that, tonight at 7:42, inspired me to get this entire thought process on paper.
Here we are and already B is ten months and a few days. It’s time to order birthday invitations. He’s been on the outside longer than it took to “grow him.” These are the last couple of months we count in measures of months... Sippy cups are in play. Bottles are less frequent… Crawling is turbo-charged and standing and stepping from one piece of furniture to another close by is a favorite game along with Peek-a-boo.

Tonight as we rocked I was thinking about how these are the best months of babyhood. There’s a routine in our life that’s in greater than three hour increments. Plus, he’s got all kinds of interactive tricks that are very entertaining. Most importantly, he’s still a baby by most accounts. He still feels like a baby, with his head in the corner of my arm, even if his feet are sticking out from under the other arm a quarter of a mile…He still looks like a baby in his footy PJ’s with his paci. He still sounds like a baby when he cries to be picked up or because I took my phone out of his hand… And he still smells like a baby just after bath and when he spits up all over his shirt each and EVERY morning when we put him in the car seat to go to school (there’s a magic button or something).

It’s in these months, the second time around (and almost certainly the last time for us) that I feel like I fully realize and appreciate the importance of soaking up the baby things before they completely disappear. And it’s this feeling—that can feel like sadness from time to time—that turns into the most genuine gratitude I have ever felt. All is right in the world for a few minutes while we rock. It’s this feeling—that can feel like sadness from time to time—that has me living more in the moment than I have since I was a child myself.

Ask my other half, I have been guilty on many occasions of making myself miserable by trying to look waaaaay down the road. I’ve wanted a detailed photo of what the future looked like. I wanted promises and guarantees. I didn’t realize it before now, but as a mom, I’ve flip-flopped. In fact, I’ve nearly neglected the future. Since G was born, I’ve been so focused on right now I haven’t looked down the road much… too busy to think beyond right this minute. This weekend. This month. Unless you’re trying to plan something with us, in which case as much advanced warning as possible is critical to getting on the agenda. We’ve got a lot of obligations you know. Always something…

I am in the process of balancing the future with the now. Living in the now—which is more than getting through the day. Planning for tomorrow, while appreciating tonight. Both are important. The kids grow up… all too soon, the kids grow up… When it comes to aging, the future always seems to arrive quickly. The future is all on the brain these days. It’s unclear in a lot of respects. I am thinking about how I want five years from now to look. 10 years from now. 20. In a good way, not the paralyzing way of the past.

In the mean time, I know this for sure: these days of being the parents of young children are a short time in our life. In reality it’s just a few years. I want to make the very most of them. So, that when we look back, it feels like longer than it was. It feels like longer than it was because there are so many wonderful memories made in this time—the short time is so rich.

I can draw a parallel to college. It was only four years (thank you very much), but so much happened during that time—it was such a great time—that when I look back it seems like a majority of my life's memory. In actuality, it was just a small fraction. And real quick, while on that topic, I’ll just add how excited I am about the plans in the works for the fall. Boulder, here we come.

We celebrated my uncle Steve’s 70th birthday over the weekend. A friend of his he’s known since he was 7 or 8 years old attended the gathering. That’s so cool. I hope my oldest friends make it to my 70th. I feel certain for Steve and his childhood friend David, “life moved pretty fast” (I loosely quote Ferris Bueller). Happy Birthday Steve!

At the same party, I visited with a friend and her 18 year old son. I remember when he was probably 5 or 6. Basically G’s age. How did he get to be 18? So. Fast. It was a couple days after the party that I saw a photo of the same mother and son on Facebook and it brought me to tears. I am certain it seems like yesterday that she sent him off to Kindergarten. I see in his face the little boy he was… but it’s just barely there. I see in her eyes the pride in what he’s become…Freaks me out. Here’s why…

On Monday we marked the first day of school and the first annual Boo Hoo Breakfast for my neighborhood circle of moms. It was an occasion worthy of a vacation day in the name of fun, total relaxation and distraction for a mama worried about her baby on his first day. I was happy to support my dear friend (with mimosas) when she returned from walking her little boy to the school around the corner for Kindergarten. I remember being 23 thinking my coworker was crazy when she showed up teary on the first day of school. I had no idea. But now. Now! I know that this school year will fly by and in the blink of an eye it will be my turn to take my first BABY to school. And about a minute after that, it will be Baby B’s turn… Make it stop. Just for a minute. Freeze the frame.


Remember this scene from Big? I couldn't find the whole thing... but this gives you the idea. It does seem like they grow up overnight sometimes.

sassy supersicle

There sure have been some good stories since the last post.

Like the Father's Day when G was so tired he fell asleep about 6:30 p.m. and when we woke him up to go to bed and Deeda shuffled him to the bathroom to potty, G literally pottied on Deeda, at which time Deeda's Father's Day celebration was truly complete.

Like G's first sleep over with Tal where I noticed the two of them playing like real friends do. Not playing side by side but feeding off each other... taking one another's imaginary world and making it their own...building a story together. Taking turns. It really was something to see. A major milestone as far as I am concerned.

Like B's first words... Da! Da! and every now and then you'd swear he spits out a sentence... in between motor boating. He loves to motor boat.

Just in the last week, at nine months on the dot, B has started with major protests when we take something from him or when he doesn't get what he wants. waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It's new enough that it still makes me laugh...but before long we'll have to figure out how to take care of that.

Last week G wanted to wear his "Clark Kent" clothes, as in a button down shirt and clip on tie, to school because his new girlfriend Andrea wants him to dress fancy. I asked him what happen to Isabelle (the ex) and he said he just can't decide... good!

The other day I picked G up from school. The class was on the playground and G was sitting to the side pouting. The teacher made it clear hew was beating himself up more than he really needed to... so I went over and asked what happened. He didn't look up. He mumbled, "I used my super powers on Taylor." Now, I am not going to tell the child he doesn't have super powers. I just reminded him to use them for good, not bad. No kicking allowed.

There is something blogworthy nearly every single day at our house. I love that. But I haven't been good about keeping up...

Time flies. And that's what inspired me to sit down and quick get at least something down tonight. Because this morning... just before 6 a.m., B was making noise in his bed and Deeda brought him to our bed where he cooed and snuggled in back to sleep. Just after 6, G came in, his feet flopping all the way... and he crawled in next to me laying as close as he could. Still, snuggly, and quiet. And we layed there. And I thought to myself: these days are numbered. It's just that at these ages, it works as part of our routine.

Now, there are a lot of mornings when the four of us in one bed isn't so sweet. G is kicking, B is pulling up and playing with the blinds, I just want a few more minutes of sleep... and then B spits up all over Deeda and pretty much from then, it's "everyone up." But this morning, it was wonderful. The four of us. Before the morning madness began...

Look at these cuties. B is 9 mos with 7 teeth. G is 4 and a half and he is totally into superheroes.

Summer Fun's in Full Swing

I've been writing this post for a long while, saving it for a time when corresponding photos are ready to upload. But the post just keeps getting longer... and the photos keep getting put off. So, here's the recap of our May... Photos will follow. Promise.

At the start of May, Deeda and I basically said, "see you next month" and let the craziness ensue. As a result, I have actually come to realize that relaxing may, in fact, be easier away from the casa than at the casa. For one, sometimes the kids aren't with you when you're not at home... Two, when they are with you, there are more hands around to hold them. Three, I can't do the weekend list of chores if I am not here. So, I have no choice but to chill. That all said, I find myself weary after all our adventures in the last 30 days. AND I maintain that a weekend at home with no todos is about as good as (and in our case as rare as) a vacation.

May saw not one but two conventions for The Dental Network. Deeda is still brimming with new and exciting ideas... The boys and I managed swimmingly on our own, complete with a 7:30 a.m. meeting on day three. Made it on time thank you very much.


On the heals of Deeda's his out of town adventures I spent three nights in Orlando with the CP gang learning software stuff and having a great time. It was a working event but something about Florida, a hotel and dinner among good friends made is seem an awful lot like vacation to me. To top it off, we went to see the Blue Man Group. It's a visual feast and laughing felt so good. Meanwhile, Deeda and the boys seemed to manage just fine on their own... nonetheless, I bought $40 worth of Spiderman guilt gifts at the Orlando airport. Deeda is really the one who deserved a gift.

In between Deeda's convention and my conference we squeezed in a trip to Austin. We played with the Slack's on their boat and had our inaugural meal at Buster's Barbecue, a new venture Nana and Papa are enjoying being a part of. It was a quick but good visit.

Memorial Day weekend, we hit the road for Dallas to enjoy what has become somewhat of a family tradition of pool time and catching up with Grandaddy, Nennie and the Perritte aunts. Though, none of us stand a chance of catching up with Aunt Alyssa, it was good to work on our tans.

I am happy to report G seems to have retained his swimming skills. That said, he nearly had to sit the swim time out after a good bonk on the chin the previous weekend that resulted in two stitches. The minor emergency experience was truly the best it could have been. He didn't hit his head on the side of the neighborhood pool. Just the chin. Thank heavens. We didn't have to wait in the ER for hours. Thank heavens. And nobody passed out. A dose of good judgement told me to leave the room. And G was super brave about the whole thing. His bravery is truly an inspiration. I could see the fear in his eyes, and at the very same time the courage. Have I mentioned once or twice in this space how proud I am of that boy?

This past weekend, we made a long weekend of it in Galveston enjoying some quality time with the Bromley's and some new friends, too. Accommodations were superb! It's good to know people who know people... In total we had six kids and six adults. The 1:1 ratio is excellent for beach going. G reported tonight at bedtime (in a moment of clarity amidst total delirium brought on by total exhaustion) his favorite parts were playing at the beach, making sandcastles and sleeping on the top bunk! My favorite parts were the good friends, good food, good photo ops and a good look at the starry sky with Deeda.

Already we've had a lot of adventures this summer and the fun has just begun. All this traveling and some really good advertising makes me wonder about the swagger wagon...

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is my new favorite holiday. Today I was completely selfish and kept the boys all to myself. I had a little piece of heaven with each of them. My best days and my favorite memories are the ones we make when we're home with no agenda other than being a family.

The first actually came yesterday when Deeda came waltzing across the front yard at a block party like a knight in shining armor coming to the rescue after three nights away from home. I wasn't expecting him and I have to admit, I literally had to catch my breath. I was truly happy to see him. I missed him and secondarily, I missed his help.

The second came with the Bear this morning... we had one of those interactions that's a little deeper than the average coo and hair pulling. I can see the wheels spinning behind his eyes.

Later, G and I chilled on the sofa. We rested under the blanket, watched the world outside through the picture window and chatted about our plans for the afternoon.

Other highlights include a brief dance party G, B and Deeda stirred up. The giggling coming from G's room was enough to draw me in with the video camera. Later G and Deeda washed my car while B and I napped. The house was daytime quiet. The kind of quiet I usually only get late at night. daytime quiet is way better because it's rare. Very rare.

It was really a great day. I didn't do any laundry today. Even though it's piled up waiting for me. We didn't go to the store today... and I don't have our weekly meal plan in place....

We hit the neighborhood pizza joint for an early dinner. It was dinner out with a four year old and a 6 month old. It wasn't the most relaxing... Who's big idea was it anyway? (mine). But it was good. And the kitchen was clean when we got home. Best of all... on our way out the door a woman looked at me and said, "your children were so well-behaved." Whoever you are, nice lady at the restaurant, THANK YOU. Thanks for noticing. We're trying our very best!