Dee Dog

Last Friday Deeda and I had to choose to let our Dee dog go so she could take her place in heaven. Even though, there was no question it was time, I would consider it among the hardest things we’ve ever had to do.

Dee was our first child. A problem child, but our first child. Despite her somewhat unfavorable habits that became affectionately named “dumpster diving” and “jail breaks,” we loved her deeply and she loved us back with thousands of daily greetings, kisses and leg humping, of course.

Before G arrived, we were concerned about how she would react to becoming a big sister. She never disappointed. In fact, her patience was amazing. She, too, came to love G despite the fact he dethroned her. Likewise, G came to love her. The grief that came over him when I told him the news was heartbreaking, but heartwarming at the same time. While my own grief multiplied when I felt his too, I also felt proud of his ability to love so truly. And later, as we continued to discuss heaven and God, I was warmed by his questions about where “exactly” heaven is, how you get there and how many hands God must have to make all the animals and people in the world.
I literally watched Dee age over the last couple years and more so in the last few months as her geriatric problems multiplied. Guided by a wonderful vet we managed her medical problems as best we could with meds. But last Wednesday, she couldn’t get comfortable. By Thursday she wasn’t walking. Friday the vet seemed to think she had “thrown a clot” or essentially had a stroke. She wasn’t eating…

The house has been quiet. No knock at the back door. No clanking collar at the water bowl. No snoring. Man, she could bring the house down…

We’ve moved the trash can to the kitchen, but keep going to the laundry room with the garbage. I shut the gate before I get out of my car, just the same as I used to, and I am reminded there’s no dog waiting to escape or wagging her tail at the back door.

She is missed. There is a void. We’ve suffered a lot of family loss in just a few months… it’s never easy. But losing something that’s been a part of everyday is especially difficult. Dee was truly one of a kind. Our poo poo head.

All About April

B is six months old. How can that be? In one week he had his six month shots, crawled across the living room floor and sprouted his first tooth. Busy week for the little guy.

Specs: He weighs in at 18 lbs 12 oz, he’s 27.25” long and his head is 18”.

The new thing is a whining thing… in a cute way… almost the way a puppy whimpers with excitement. mmmmmm. mm.mmmmm.mmm.mmmm.

He continues to be an easy, easy (knock on wood) baby who virtually puts himself to sleep and stays that way (knock on wood again).

He thinks G is the funniest thing EVER. In fact, while mom and dad can get an occasional laugh, G is the one who can really get him going. Already, that baby wants to be where his big brother is and playing with whatever his big brother is playing with. He even seems to have an affinity for Buzz and Lightning.

Big brother remains cooler than ever with sharing his stuff and his parents with the little one. He loves the little guy as much as we do. He also loves riding his bike. One afternoon a couple weeks ago Mr. Claus caught his attention and convinced him he could do it without training wheels (we’d be trying but must have sounded something like the Charlie Brown teacher). Not unlike learning to jump off the diving board or catch a baseball, the pride and accomplishment this child feels when he learns something new is wonderful to witness. He sits awfully tall and proud on that bike seat.

He’s also learning to write his name and is more and more into writing notes and drawing. His favorite thing to draw right now is people. Super heroes and families we know are among his favorite subjects.

We saw the end of the first Tball season last weekend... Best part about it? I think he likes the trophey (a.k.a. his Piston Cup a la Cars) as much as anything... maybe short his LA Dodgers hat which he pretty much hasn't taken off since he got it.

the moves

I read somewhere that this is the golden age of babyhood. B is 5 months (22 weeks today) and is such a happy boy.

I know because he offers up big smiles all the time. Huge smiles. They come over his face starting with his mouth up to his eyes and I swear his ears probably wiggle as the wave of emotion passes over his face. It's a process. Wide on both sides... Which reminds me how Grant's smiles at this age used to remind us of Harrison Ford... crooked from one side to the other.

B has some moves these days. His favorite is the two legged kick. It's almost like he's going to do that break dance move where you lay on your back, kick and arch your back until suddenly you're standing... you know the one? I wouldn't be suprised to see him do it. I mean, he's been doing his cruches... got the stomach muscles all toned. Seriously, he lifts his melon and his shoulders up off the floor trying to sit all the way. If he could get his spine to stiffen up, he'd be upright, all the time. Won't be long...

Move number two is impressive for a boy this age. The inch worm. (isn't that also a break dance?) Just this week, we've noticed some major progress in his tummy time scooting. I've seen him full on, up on his knees a couple times.... then he works his body like an inch worm along the floor right off the blanket we have down, onto the rug and then he spits up. on the rug. nine times ouf of 10. Never on the blanket. truly. never. on. the. blanket.

Yes, we still have spit up like no other. The bibs and burb cloths are in constant rotation. we change clothes a lot more, too and the result is truly a mountain of laundry. I folded for a full hour the other night. I was behind... and I was determined to clear the dining room table... but seriously, an hour? That's a lot of folding.

We started solids about a month ago. Just following the four month appointment. At first he wasn't so sure. And we didn't have a good routine in place, so it was total chaos. Now we've finally fallen into the mode of feeding B while our dinner cooks. Then he's usually pretty cooperative and content to hang and digest while we eat. He's had all his fruits and I am starting veggies Monday.

B has found his voice in a big way... it started about a month ago with squeels of delight. Loud ones! Now, he "talks" to his toys and you can tell when he's giving them a talking to... he wants to do more than he can...

His coordination has come on so strong. When he reaches out for a toy, he usually gets it these days. He will hold his pacifier in his hand and from time to time, get it back into his mouth.

He "sings" in the car to and from school. And tonight he hummed himself to sleep in my arms, smelling all yummy with his hair all freshly washed and fuzzy.

And I realize, now I am just making a list. But at least I am getting the list of all these things out of my head and into the record. I know from experience with G that I won't remember. I am constantly referencing my journals with G, trying to piece togehter timetables of when what happens and when he did what.

To quote Ferris Bueler, "Life moves pretty fast..." We celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss earlier this month. As part of our celebration* we showed G the wedding video. He was super impressed and liked our costumes a lot. It was so fun to see everyone 10 years ago. Especially the kids. G didn't beleive for one second that baby in the video was his cool cousin Alex...

About the same time as our anni, G's teacher Miss Vanessa became Mrs. Vanessa and went on a honeymoon to Disney (which G thought sounded like a great idea. In fact, he's currently planning our next vacation. He wants to go back to Sam's house in Colorado and to the beach).

Anyway, the wedding talk seems to have made an impression on my eldest ladies man. So much so he's made a move on his classmate Isabella and they have announced their plans to marry. She's going to wear her snow white costume and G is going to where his daddy's tuxedo. This talk has been going on consistently for weeks. And just this week we got an invitation to her house for a housewarming party. Of course, we have to go. Meet the inlaws and all...

A real ladies man we are raising here. This kid literally picked up several cute and sassy divas in their 20s outside a cupcake store in uptown park on a Friday night. It was our anniversary* we celebrated with the entire extended family at Cafe Express. I wanted to do something special with G so we dashed to the cupcake store across the way (where they incidentally charge $36/doz). On our way out, he says "Hi ladies, we got some good cupcakes."

That G. He's a real softy. Sensitive type... he hugged B the other day in the kitchen and B really did kinda hug him back, wrapped his arm around his neck and cooed. It was a real moment. I looked at G and thought he might cry. He realized it was a moment every bit as much as I did. On the opposite end of the spectrum, G was getting in a bit of trouble tonight. I was standing in the hall, holding B facing outward with one arm and pointing my finger at G while I lectured with a raised voice on the reasons not to goof around until you fall down and get hurt in the bathroom. Anyway, B must have been smiling at G while I was bitching. Cuz, G glanced at his Bro and kinda smirked in the middle of his pout. And I saw my future flash before my eyes! These two already have a brotherly form of communication and a bond... and it's only just begun.

I can't let the update go without mentioning the stomach virus we barely suvived last week. Had us down like dominoes, on a 24 hour rotation nearly to the minute. Probably picked it up in the doc office while there for B's ear infection... which I thought was a sinus infection since G had that along with a fever the week before. Wellness would be so nice, but I know the casa won't be truly rested or well for a few more months. I have found myself in a total daze more often. Just out of it. Need to find a way to get my me time and my sleep in.

In extracurricular news:

Deeda put in a great stent for the 2010 HSL&R. I think it's safe to say on his behalf he thoroughly enjoys the work, loves the cause and the commraderie. He even got G a spot in the grand entry parade, carrying on what I will officially call a family tradition.

T-ball is super fun. Practice on tuesdays, games on saturdays...Tball at age four is really something. In his first game, G's was standing on third when the coach told him to "run after the ball." Coach meant, run home after the batter hits the ball. Grant heard what he said literally and when the ball was hit, G dashed into the outfield after the ball. It was like something from a movie. complete with the visual of a tiny child in a HUGE batting helmet looking like a bobble head running after the ball.

I hosted an event for about 30 Friends of Red at the casa last night...wine was a good draw for some bonding and furthering the effort to turn the great school around the corner into a neighborhood school again. I am also enrolled in a photo class for the month of April and continue to be inspired by bread crumbs I am following from my new connnections at Mom 2.0.

So- I think that's the summary. Geeeshh... it's a lot! I wouldn't blame anyone for not reading ALL THIS blabbing... but at this point, I am just trying to catch up and maintian the family record. Once again, I will vow to post more often. shorter blurbs. more reader friendly. I know.

****************************************

* Oh yeah, the asterisks. I didn't want to interrupt the story I was telling to stop and tell another. I don't know why, but I really was feeling a lot of anticipation and excitement for ouranniversary this year. Ten years! It's a big deal. So much has happen in that time and it's a nice even number to measure just how much has gone down. One tile kitchen floor. Two houses. Two kids. Vacations. Infamous nights out. A lot of nights at home (the best)...

Anyhoo, we had great intentions to get away or at least get out for a better than average date night. As it turned out, Deeda babysat while I spent the evening on our anniversary with the Raben clan due to the death of dear Mamu/Rubye's. Her death was both a loss and a blessing. She will be missed.

The days that followed were frustrating. We had a house full of family... we wanted to celebrate our anniversary... and I wanted to be with the family too... We didn't even have sufficient time to exchange cards until nearly a week later... much less have a real talk and contemplate our life together... I was so frustrated over the whole thing. Did I mention I was frustrated?

And then I made an important realization. A distinction really. Marriage is about two people, yes. But it's also about family. It's the whole enchilda. And even though the family stuff was all in our face and seemed to be impairing our anniversary celebration, in the end it helped me see that. I am so grateful for our family. All of them. I wrote something really good to that end in C's card. It was better than what I am coming up with right now. But you get the gist.

Mom 2.0 Inspired

Since it would surely be sacrilege to attend Mom 2.0 and not post something about it on my blog, here goes.

This conference, geared toward mom bloggers, celebrated motherhood, talked about maintaining authenticity in the face of marketing endorsements and encouraged this influential market to use its collective voice to its full potential. Talk of how the community of mom bloggers (though built in cyberspace, it really is a community) raises their audience up by sharing their experiences was another recurring theme. It's true. No doubt. Reading and relating to a story feels good. It reminds me I am not the only one whose life feels like this.

And that’s just the most concise way I can offer the gist of what was covered over two days. There’s plenty more, but what I really want to get to is the feelings my time among these amazing ladies elicited. I left the Four Seasons hotel Saturday afternoon, empowered, inspired, high, mindful, grateful, warm AND fuzzy. I wanted to figure out how to bottle the mix of emotions. I hardly remember driving home, I was so lost in thought. I came straight to my keyboard to put down some notes. Anything to capture the essence of the day. And then I remembered what drew me to the event in the first place. This feeling had already been bottled!


No wonder this video has gone truly viral. More than 50,000 hits last I looked. This piece by Katherine Center is, to me, the essence of what keeps me going when I feel like this motherhood gig is too much. This is important work, and it is work. The line “what you’re doing matters” was a theme of Mom 2.0. It’s a phrase I will repeat to myself again and again.

I’ve been a little hoodoovoodoo about this whole thing since I stumbled upon it about a month ago. It just seemed like the universe aligned to get me there. I am so glad it did.

It actually started last summer. I was in Kinkos dropping off a Fed Ex. A little girl approached me and said,

“My mommy wrote a book. You should read it.”

She handed me a card. I smiled at the girl and her mom and walked out the door having a little conversation with myself about how a mom would find time to write a book and how cute it was that the girl was so proud of her mom…. I put the card in my wallet.

Flash forward. About three weeks ago. I come across the card. I start bumping around and see the video. I watch it twice (and 20 times since) and tear up. So good! At the end I notice the mention of Opmom. Opmom.com (now http://www.thetastefullife.com/) is the site my friend Carrie Pacini started… It is a small world after all. Hmmmm? Wheels turning, already inspired and I hadn't even registered yet.

When I got to the speaker list, I was floored. The lineup was truly incredible. The more I read, the more excited I got. Admittedly, what excited me the very most was a bit of star power. One of my absolute favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong, was booked as a keynote.

For my grandparent readership, Heather Armstrong was on the list of Forbes Most Influential Women in Media in 2009. Number 26. If you read her post at dooce.com about being number 26 you’ll get a sense for why I love reading her blog. Her success as a blogger is groundbreaking. She also just penned a deal with HGTV. Quite a case study. Above all, she makes me laugh and sometimes I really need a laugh. She writes (for all the world to read) the kind of things I only say in my head. I relate to her. We’re a lot alike. Only she’s on the Forbes list with Oprah and Barbra WaWa.

And here comes the point. The source of some of the empowerment that came for me personally at Mom 2.0 is the fact that we are alike. I sat there in awe of Heather Armstrong, and so many other ladies I met. So many. And guess what? They aren’t so different from me. Short of the long: I left reminded that I can accomplish big, cool and powerful things, too. I don’t know what big things I am out to accomplish, but being reminded I can is a start.

It’s easy to get busy getting by. Day to day. Hamster wheel syndrome. “Time to make the donuts”… Time to feed the baby. Time to go to work. Doldrums. It happens to me and I am one of the lucky ones who really loves my husband, kids and work. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be unhappy in any of these areas AND live in the wheel.

This is not to say that the daily grind isn't part of "what matters." It all matters. Cooking dinner on a weeknight can be a chore, but sitting down to the table as a family matters. It all matters. The good. The bad. And the ugly. It's all part of life and very necessary.

It's just that to set out to do big, cool and powerful things, I need some time to focus on something besides the things that are required. Getting up and going to work is required. Doing laundry is required. The store. Picking up the house. The good ole todo list. It should be called the have to list. By the time all the perquisites are done, there’s not much time left (if any) to dive into the higher level coursework so to speak. The want to list.

Time to move up from Life 101. Step one: make and take time to daydream and formulate full thoughts, theories and ideas. Time to be me. Not mommy me. Not wife me. Not marketer me. Just me. So, I can be open to and look for inspiration. I love being all those other versions of myself. But after Mom 2.0 kids, I need to be the first version of myself from time to time.

I am one of bajillions of women desperate for some time to herself. I get it. I am not saying anything new here. I am just saying, this event reminded me how powerful taking the time can be. By taking time to find passion and enthusiasm we live bigger, better lives. When I go out and get empowered, I bring it home to the dinner table for the boys to see. The "time out" I took last week is really all it took to stop fussing, breathe, get inspired and fired up. Battery charged. It was so worth it. It was so simple. It was super special. I am still flying!

the story changes daily

THAT WAS THEN – bittersweet. more sweet than bitter.
January 7, 2010

It was inevitable. The tears would come.

So, I was feeling “ready” for a few hours without little B. A few errands ALL BY MYSELF (I sound like G) seemed like a really good idea. A couple hours away and a short stint for B to spend his first day at “school.” Start with baby steps, so to speak.

And then I was in the classroom giving detailed instructions to three women who probably know thousands more baby tricks than I do. I was lingering and hovering –finding it hard to walk out the door. Eventually, I did. Thanks to a lunch date with Sarah (at which we had a glass of wine. It helped).

Couple hours later, I returned to find B was fine. We both survived.

When I did this, nearly four years ago with G, I truly thought it was the end of the world. I thought I was already failing at the motherhood gig, because I didn’t consider it a viable option to totally change our lifestyle and find a way to make it work on one income. Possible? Sure. People do it all the time on far less. But right for our family? Not so much.

Still, I worried that daycare would not be good for G. He’d wind up with abandonment issues and he’d be confused about who his “primary caregiver” was…blah, blah, blah. Oh the trauma and the guilt. Drama mama! Truth is, G’s going to daycare had more negative impact on me than it ever had on him. I never would try to convince a first time mom of this. I couldn’t have believed it before. But, I think school has helped make G the social butterfly he is.

The child introduces people… is the life of a party… knows a lot of stuff I couldn’t teach him myself and is a super caring kiddo with a generous heart. He’d be all that anyway, but when it comes to how he interacts with others and his comfort level with himself – I think school has given him a lot we couldn’t have offered him at home.

So this time around, I know B will benefit in many ways. I know he knows I am the mama.( I know because he snuggles me different than anyone else and I do love that!) I know he’ll be entertained, rocked, fed, changed and talked to. And I know we’ll find a routine that works.

I am not misty with worry. I am misty because he’s going on 12 weeks old. These precious weeks have gone by too fast. And he’ll never be two days, two weeks or two months old again. The moments are so fleeting! And the photos don’t capture the smell or the emotions attached to these moments in time. I am already forgetting little details I want to remember. Like how huge his cheeks were when he was born, the hair on his hears, the size of his little hands and feet… I already can’t think of what else I want to list…

On one hand I am tired of anticipating the end of maternity leave. It’s weighing on me really. Just get here and get it over with already. On the other hand, I am clinging to every moment. Taking liberty to hold him through entire naps because I can… It will be a real luxury to find time to do that on a weekend when we’ve got birthday parties to go to, errands to run and life to get in order before we begin again on Monday. Besides, before long he’ll be too big to hold for an entire nap… before too long, he’ll look up at me and say, “I don’t need you to cuddle me tonight.” As G does now from time to time… (thank goodness he also says, “I want you to carry me.” )

I knew it would go by too quickly and I knew the list of things I really wanted to do was unrealistic from the start. I haven’t done the craft projects I had in mind, read the books I’d planned to, or even watched a bunch of good movies. Days have gone by quickly just keeping up with laundry, running to the store and preparing for and celebrating the holidays. We live in three hour increments between feedings, on no real nap schedule.

I was tired some days. At my wits end on occasion (especially during those few weeks of crying jags). I snapped off several heads (and apologized). But I also soaked it up. I noticed when I felt totally happy. And I did. Quite a lot of the time…

How often do you get to feel totally and completely happy? How often does the joy totally and completely override the worries and todos and todon’ts? For me, it’s not that often….I am more often glass half empty. A great devil’s advocate. Slightly pessimistic. And I am not a morning person. This is my nature. I am not unhappy. I just view the world with caution and I am slow to wake up.

But when he smiles, it’s total and complete happiness. The joy overrides EVERYTHING. It fills the air. In the morning, (early morning) when he’s stirring and ready for a change and bottle, I appear over him in the pack and play at the end of our bed and he smiles a huge gummy smile – a smile that wrinkles his nose and reaches all the way to his eyes. That’s a great way to start the day.

When there’s a baby around, the world just looks different. It’s harder to ignore all that is right.

******

THIS IS NOW - It’s not quite so sappy today… a little snotty, in fact.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010

What a difference a few days makes. Focus shifted.

So, G started with the fever on Saturday. Sunday appetite disappeared, fever remained and he threw up in his bed, the hall and then finally, the toilet. Monday morning, the doc said she didn’t think it was the flu. Until she tested anyway out of concern for Baby B and confirmed G has type A flu. “Could be swine flu,” she said, “we’re still seeing some of that in the community.”

It’s Tuesday and the fever only just let up tonight. High was above 103. Tamiflu seems to be kicking in and I have a filled scrip in the fridge ready in the event B shows any signs… Every spit up, sneeze or cough makes me feel like he’s a time bomb. Not to mention the fact that every little something I feel in my body has me thinking, “Oh Sh**! I’ve got it.” I wouldn’t be surprised, I have been sneezed on a few times. Lots o' snot r us. And despite cans of Lysol stationed at key points with sanitizer and Clorox wipes, it’s just hard to contain the germs.

Meanwhile Deeda continues to recover from his elbow surgery last Thursday and it seems we discover something else he can’t do each day. (Some way to spend your 37 birthday. Happy Bday Deeda. It's 12:15. The day is officially yours.) Having your right arm wrapped and immobilized requires help putting on pants that don’t have an elastic waistband, deodorant, serving food, putting on shoes, etc… Oh! and no driving! And he’s in this bandage until next Friday (at least). I get cabin fever for him just thinking about it. Meds seem to help with pain but that could also be because shortly after he takes them, he goes to sleep…

Thank heavens Nana is a real trooper and (once again) extended her trip. She has literally been here more than she’s been home in the last few months. I can’t be thankful enough. Her physical and moral support are a tremendous help. Ready at standby, too, is Grams who drove C to the doc today and will return tomorrow for appointment "part deaux." Strategically, I don’t want to expose her to our germs because we need her even more if I “go down” or Nana goes down. Seriously, you never know...

Maybe we’re over reacting a little but I feel like some strategy is important… It’s kinda funny and inconvenient right now, but it could get ugly fast if this flu starts making the rounds about the family.

So, none of this is what I had planned for this, the last week of maternity leave. This week was to be the start of some routine… B going to daycare. Me going to get a haircut and my teeth cleaned, maybe squeeze in a fun project and finalize Bday party prep for G (festivities are scheduled for Saturday morning a joint party with pal Brooks). Once again, I had visions of homemade cakes, aprons and pearls. Wrong! once again. Just not in the cards.

48 hour no fever school rule means, G could, maybe, go to school on Friday if he stays on the steady upward swing. Friday sounds VERY far away this Tuesday night. AND now that he’s feeling human again, it will only be harder to keep him quiet and in recovery mode. Meanwhile, I want to watch B with my own two eyes so I can administer tamiflu the second he does anything out of the ordinary. He is not going to school and getting used to it as we’d carefully planned. From what I read online we're not really in the clear until the weekend is behind us.

I have managed to regain some perspective since this morning when I felt sorry enough for everyone, including myself, to have a little cry and pick a fight with Deeda. It’s just bad timing. C’s surgery alone would have been enough… add flu to the mix and the emotion surrounding the big back to work day and we have a “tilt” situation. BUT I was able to keep the ball in play. Where are all these silver linings are coming from these days? Who am I? As I sat in G’s bedroom with him watching the portable DVD player… in our PJ’s at noonish, I did remember that I said wanted to sit around and watch movies ( I was thinking something other than Cars again, but it still is a cute show, even the 750th time). I do want all the time I can get at home with the kiddos. So, in some ways, maybe this ordeal has made me slow down and do some of that… So, I did it with a can of Lysol on my hand. Still counts.

Gotta laugh, really. Not much else you can do between baby feedings, sterilizations and wrapping C’s arm in saran so he can shower. I’ll finish by saying, I so know it could be worse. I recognize none of this is serious. And I know how fortunate I am to have the help I do… but still. Really?

p.s. no photos for these posts because I still haven’t sorted through the photos or made any uploads since thanksgiving… eventually. There are some good ones. I got a new lens for my birthday!

'Twas just days before Christmas

G said before we went to a Hanukkah party Friday :

“ I am excited to celebrate ‘harmonica’ with my friend Tal.”

A Christmas classic was born. The second of the week…

Tuesday evening, G stared as Chicken Cacciatore in the Christmas Pageant at school. It was a priceless performance complete with 2 -4 year olds picking their noses, crying and waving to their parents from the stage. Our little chicken (dressed in a mighty fine homemade costume) projected his two lines perfectly over all the noise. Ironically, the play was called Starry Night, Noisy Night.

Annual wrapping and wine drinking with gal pal Sarah was excellent. All wrapping is done... Just moved Halloween and Thanksgiving photos to computer to make room for the thousands that I am sure to take in the next few days. Bought a coffee cake at Costco and am calling brunch done. Need to make some jezebel and buy several blocks of cream cheese and boxes of wheat thins. Hostess gifts almost done… Things are shaping up. And there is a day or two to spare.

“Free and Easy down the road we go” into the Heart of Darkness… eh-hem, I mean, this joyous season.

No, really. I am looking forward to it… it’s always chaotic but in the best way possible. I know I would be miserable if it were any other way. Shrek the Halls (which we’ve watched 25 times so far) reminds me so…

Some of the fondest memories where once described as "incidents." Like the time mom went flying down the driveway and into the ditch on my new bike one beautiful Christmas day in Colorado. Or the time Laura nixed EVERY SINGLE gift that came out of the stocking Nennie thoughtfully put together for her. OR the time we stuffed like 17 people into our apartment for brunch... what were we thinking?

Yes, there was an “incident” (or two) last holiday where I totally flipped. Namely the "f’ing casserole"… Isn't at least one freak-out tradition?

How about an early New Year's resolution? When I start to lose perspective and worry about any of the things that can overwhelm a control freak just trying to make reality match the mental image of the perfect Christmas dancing around with the sugarplums in her head – I will embrace a three step method for dealing...

First, I will look to Deeda. My rock and smile store. I will perhaps roll my eyes or open them super wide. This unspoken "venting" may simply be required to ensure my head doesn't explode. He’ll smile and we’ll laugh but no one will know why… And I will remember why I love him and his total zest for the holidays so.


Second, I will look to my big little boy G. I will take in his enthusiasm and wonder… To see Christmas through the eyes of a four year old is such a treat!


And last but not least, I will look to baby B. Miracle. What a miracle! ‘Tis the reason for the season. In just nine weeks (time is flying by) he’s come so far. 13 lbs now. Smiling. And such a snuggle bear.

Happy Holidays! I will report from the flip slide on the success of the system. :)

what's the formula for success?

Friday

Quote of the day: “Jesus lives in the sky with God and Santa Claus.” We needed that giggle... it's been a long week.

Let’s hope this new formula brings some change about the casa. This is how it goes presently: B eats, spits up a bunch, hangs out briefly and then the gas starts. It comes over his face with the saddest most pitiful expression and then the crying. It’s horrible. Poor kid. Was seeming like he was crying a lot… wondering if it was just my perception or true, I started logging our days specifically...he officially cries if he’s awake. Long story short, today we made the formula switch.
Happy seven week birthday B! You’re growing waaaay too fast. You hold your head up like mad and you’re starting to share those smiles that take away all the frustration the crying creates.

G is on his best behavior these days. MOST excited ‘bout Santa’s pending visit. He keeps telling us he’s being a good boy… and he is all about the mams and sirs. It’s borderline kiss-ass… but I’ll take it. We should have been leveraging this all year long. At any rate, he’ll do just about anything we request right now. Let the dog in, go fetch a bib or burp cloth… Bedtime still leads to some stalling but the screaming fits we were encountering a couple months ago seem to be behind us (for now). I’ll say it again, that boy is soooo sweet.

Thanksgiving was excellent. Mellow for the most part and it was great of the fam to trek down to H-town this year… I learned some super trade secrets from Nennie (Master of the shrimp dip, cornbread dressing and sweet potatoes to mention a few of my favs). Deeda made the most excellent turkey in some new fangled ultraviolet cooker… We topped off our dinner with the Football game of the year and pie, followed by a New Moon movie brunch on Friday. A little dose of that Cullen vampire I adore… I think we should make it a holiday tradition forever more.

On Dasher and Dancer – Christmas is practically here. The tree is decorated. Tomorrow is tamale Saturday and my Amazon shopping cart is getting full. And as if that wasn’t enough, it snowed today in Houston. All day! Big flakes. Real snow, not freezing rain.

It was Halloween just a minute ago… time flies when you’re on maternity leave. Our days (and nights) are busy but not, if that makes sense. I mean, I am not napping or eating any bon bons… I also haven’t even managed to sign up for Netflix, much less watch all the movies and TV shows I had grand visions of catching up on… And I haven’t read any of the books I have on my list…or done anything with the thousands of corks I’ve been collected for some craft. I did take a day on Tuesday. I let the laundry go unfolded, skipped the shower, decided we’d eat pizza for dinner and put my crackberry away… I watched a whole movie (Marley and Me) with baby bear in my arms. It was perfect! Soaking up that baby smell.

Saturday

Uhm, this new formula stinks. No yummy baby smell. Smells like dog food. Literally. I gagged and nearly vomited when he spit that smell up on me overnight.

So we switched again. (shhhhh don't tell the doc) Now let’s hope this one works. Soy (play on word) far, soy good.