an epic day

Some days just feel epic. Today was a day like that. Actually the last week has had that feel to it.

Today was kindergarten field trip day. To the zoo. G was thrilled I was in attendance and I was equally as thrilled. At his special request, I then picked him up as  a "walk up" after school. Then it was swim team, followed by fundraiser event at Chic-fil-A. It was a big day... a busy day. By day's end I was exhausted, a little sun burned and filled with gratitude for a day to be the mom "that chaperoned." Living the dream.

G has learned to tie his shoes. He has lost two teeth and a third is loosening. He's testing for his yellow belt in Karate and he just completed his first video cooking show for a GT school project. His days in Kindergarten are numbered. Hard to believe how fast the school year went by and how far he's come during that time. He's reading with more confidence and has written a summer to do list for our fridge. Coach pitch baseball season ends this weekend to make way for swim team -- an every day affair through the end of June.

B is potty training, talking in full sentences and particularly fond of the movie Puss in Boots, which he refers to as Cat in Boot and Boots. It's become a somewhat odd but never dull dinner ritual to quote movie lines. The line in favor is "Guys, guys, it's a gold popper! We're taking it!" Any excuse to say poop and the boys are on it. But I digress... Back to B. He likes to put on his own socks and if he gets to pick out his own socks, he'll choose the red ones. Every time. He loves going to baseball practice with his brother and he loves to color, though he prefers markers to crayons. Sometimes he colors with both hands at the same time. Everything he does, he does with a certain vigor. When he runs "the bases" in the living room, he has a particular elbow out arm swing that gives me the giggles every time.

These boys. They are joy! The family just returned from a mini-vaca in San Antonio. We hit the JW Marriot Resort after Dad's Dental Convention... arriving on Saturday afternoon and leaving Monday. We spent Sunday at Sea World. It was a true Griswold adventure. Front row, "first ones here" parking... in line before the gates opened - just in time to hear the national anthem. We fed dolphins, took in the shows and rode some rides. Sea World. Done. Check! And don't EVER ask me if I want to go in June, July or August! Man it's hot out there. 

Hello 2012!

Happy New Year! We went to a wedding last night and the boys spent the night at camp Crosby. All is quiet this morning and I have time to catch up. Lots of catching up to do.

The second half of 2011 was a busy one. Milestones all over the place. I haven’t written in forever because it’s been busy (to say the least) but it’s also daunting to catch up when so much has happened. To talk myself into writing a post, I have told myself before it’s not necessary to document everything that’s gone on since the last post… The pep talk hasn’t worked. I still haven’t managed to put anything down in a looooong while.

I think because I want to at least hit the highlights. It’s New Year’s day. So, a look back at the year seems apropos. Here goes.

In June we had a new addition to the family. Charlotte, AKA Charlie, is a total love bug and has been the best puppy imaginable. She’s still learning her manners but already she has wiggled her way into the deepest part of our hearts with her Labradoodle love.

On Independence Day, I typed a resignation letter and left the comfort zone I’d known for 15 years at Communications Plus. I am over the need to hash through the particulars. I will just say, in many conversations since I have likened it to a divorce. Painful. Necessary. Liberating. I am proud to report the new company, BrightSpot, is up and running full steam ahead. Erika and I just secured a small office space after being at our respective dining room tables for nearly six months. Business is good. We’re so fortunate to have each other, the support of great clients and encouragement from family, good friends and colleagues.

In August Grant started Kindergarten. Our walks to school are some of my most favorite times. It’s a time to talk. And I love to take in whatever it is he thinks to share. I love that we walk to school and that he says hello to friends and faculty along the way. I love that the principal says hello to both of us by name. A lot of energy has gone toward creating this experience in the last few years. Standing in his Kindergarten classroom with a handful of involved parents, helping with a holiday party felt like a reward for the effort. It’s a warm fuzzy.

His favorite part of school is recess—PE running a close second. Stands to reason. He’s been driving past that playground his entire life. He is working diligently to master the monkey bars. He’s also learning to read—a task he finds frustrating sometimes, but he’s working at it. Getting in the groove of homework and adding it to the routine has been something we’ve all had to learn.

September breezed by with PTO todos for the fall carnival, soccer for G, and a busy month at work. Literally, everything on tap in life and work was complete/due the last week in September… And then we took a deep breath of fall air.

In October I wrote (but never posted) this:

October 29

I haven’t written in months. I’ve composed a dialogue for this space many times in my head since my last post but time has been short. Life has been in the process of the next evolution. I’ve been in flux to say the least. Rather than hash through the flux in report form, I think I’ll just say that this week the flux feeling has waned.

Halloween approaching, fall in the air. I found a stride where true happiness crept in. What is it about this time of year that brings joy? For me, October must be what December is for so many people… True joy.

A pause and smile inspired from the sound of my three boys singing five little pumpkins in the bathroom during bath time. Joy noticed while decorating our yard with ghosts and visiting with neighbors on the first day a hint of dry, chilly air came through. A sense that it’d be “fun” to make cupcakes and then actually doing it! Hosting good friends pre and post Halloween parade in the park. The smell of a spicy candle filling the living room. The taste of a chai tea latte… Life is good. And something about fall always reminds me so. Something about fall, makes me pause. Breathe. Appreciate. Renew.

I venture I am not the only one experiencing moments of “pinch me” at the Casa. Football season is in full swing. The World Series has just ended. Kindergarten is cool as all get out. And turning two… rocks!

B turned two on the16th. When I look at photos from just one year ago. I see a complete and total transformation from baby to boy. Sigh. Again, I would love to hold on to that baby. Stop time… I will miss the smell of honey he emits when he sleeps.

I didn’t really finish the Barrett report then… So here’s the synopsis. Barrett went from a few words in October to full sentences these days. Sometimes instructional sentences with a very specific “are you understanding me?” tone, a pointed figure and a stern brow … He is very sure of what he wants and uses his words to be certain everyone else is sure, too.

The Paci (called a Fabi by B) remains a great love in his life but is reserved for bed time now. He also loves his blankets and routinely carries three full sized blankets around the house. Goodnight Moon is still his favorite bedtime book… He is the easiest child to put to bed, often putting himself to bed by wandering into him room on his own. He is a cuddle kid. When he’s sweet, he’s the sweetest. His tone of voice sounds like a Mogwai. You know the “nice gremlin?” But don’t feed him after midnight… there’s a gremlin in there too!

He still has this need throw things on a table onto the floor. Books on the table? Let’s toss them on the floor! A full box of crayons… to him it’s as if they NEED to be on the kitchen floor. And he knows not his strength or how to be gentle and soft. He’s fast. He climbs. He’s busy busy busy. Just like Thomas the Train and his friends. You know the song? B does. It’s one of his favorites. For his birthday we went to ride the train in Hermann Park. When it started to pull out of the station he whaled… ultimately deciding it was OK. But not so sure at first.

His favorite shirt is red with a truck on it. I think in part because his brother wears red to school every day. We wash that shirt a lot. We may have to make it into a commemorative something when he outgrows it (in about 2.2 minutes).

He loves to play with balls and has quite an arm on him. Christmas morning he threw a full sized basketball across the living room. Lucky for us he didn’t hit the tree… or Grammy… Always gotta have your “heads up” with Mr. B. Cannot turn your back for a split second with that one. Something Dad learned all too well the other day when he found a blue marker and took it to the sofa… thank heaven for washable markers.

For Thanksgiving we traveled to both Austin and Dallas. Eve and her family were in Austin and spending time with them and letting the kids play made me wish we saw them more often. It was a great trip… Thanksgiving in Dallas remains one of my favorite times of year. Good family time. Good food. The start of the holidays… We took the Polar Express ride in Grapevine and got in the spirit. All the travels were smooth as could be until Charlie tossed her cookies in Grant’s lap just outside of Houston on the road home. Brave big boy managed it well… but no one likes to be puked on.

At the start of December we ventured to a Christmas tree farm with the Sorensen’s. The day we planned ended up being bad weather but it made the adventure all the better. Grant and Anders each cut down a Christmas tree and we had a great picnic before heading home to a pot of chili and the task of lighting and decorating. I’ll end that story by saying that today I plan to purchase an artificial tree on sale.

The rest of December flew by. Aunt Laura visited. We had a drama free holiday … Nana, Papa, Grammy and Nathan stayed with us. We all enjoyed Martinez Christmas Eve in Crosby… even though we left the gifts at home… all was well that ended well. Santa was good to us all.

I turned 38 a couple days ago. A highlight of the holiday was celebrating with my neighbor friends the other night. I’d be bothered about my new age except Christian turns 39 in a couple weeks. That seems a lot worse. We both agree it doesn’t seem possible that we’ve just welcomed 2012 and that we’re pushing 40. Time is marching on. And the little feet in our house are growing every day… I mean both boys are forever in need of new shoes.

So here we are 2012. Welcome. I gotta say I am glad to see 2011 gone. A new leaf has officially turned. It’s a new year and it’s going to be a Bright one. Last year my theme word was movement. I accomplished that. I got my body in motion (need to get back on that wagon ASAP). I also fulfilled my commitment to forward motion at work in 2011. Life looks completely different to me than it did a year ago.

It's a loud life

I should be heading to bed, or working on that proposal that's due... but what I also need is a charge. Recharge. And a reminder of all the good going on at the casa. Feeling in the grind rather than in the groove at the moment... sigh. No complaints. Just in search of a diversion while I enjoy a little late night quiet.

Was thinking about the list of things I want to remember about the Bear just yesterday evening... like how he says, "no no no bebe" in the sweetest little voice and also screams almost constantly between the hours of 5:30 and 6:30 p.m. nightly. The contrast in our lives from moment to moment is comical. Nothing you can do but laugh the longer the screaming goes on.

He has also just this weekend started taking my finger and saying "me, me... " as in "come with me mom I have something to show you." Often he wants to show me his juice cup in the fridge or the back door and how it leads to the OUTSIDE. Uhm- it was 105 the other day... it's going to be a long hot summer and being in the heat doesn't help my ability to be the patient and loving mother I strive to be.

My favorite, and one I hope to capture on video, is his rendition of the Darth Vader music. Dum dum dum, da-da dum, da-da dum. da, da da, Dum-da-dum da-da dum. Always gets the first three notes. Mind you, all those da das under his belt and he calls Daddy, "Mahhhhh." It's different than ma ma. But it's definitely not Dada. or Deeda. or anything close to Dad. We've got father's day coming up... maybe he can make the connection in time.

By the way, he could be in the middle of singing this tune and if someone says it's time to brush teeth he is off and running to the bathroom, scooting around the tight corner like a cartoon character bouncing on its heel...A guaranteed obedient/happy moment in the day. Maybe he'll take on the family business someday. The kid loves to brush.

Having B around is like having Godzilla in the living room sometimes. He throws his cup... he whacks things off the coffee table... The other day at the pool he was walking around the grounds pushing the white plastic chairs over. One at a time. Left arm, Right arm. Taking them out... because he can. And after the destruction and screaming and food all over the floor... he settles in smelling like pure honey. It's like he breathes honey past 8 p.m. At the day's end, he wants to rock and snuggle in. He will put his little hand on my shoulder and pat me three times... just like I do to him. Little Bear. Growing so fast. 20 months already. Barely any baby left...

And then there's G-man. The only baby left in that boy is this baby talk thing that makes me insane. INSANE! We're trying to break him of it... And then there's the recurring, "I love you mama" or "I love you daddy" that comes out of nowhere, a sincere gift every time. We hope it lasts forever. I guess it balances out.

Dressed as a sheep with specially requested horns, G started the pre-k graduation by leading the Pledge. I always said he has the right hair for politics. God help him. Since becoming a graduate, he's been at Camp at school and having a blast. Movies, swimming, library, game day...Today they did Zumba...I don't think the summer boredom thing is on his horizon. Although he has seemed to pick up the word boring from the older kids. "Ohhhhh but that will be so booooooooring," he said when I asked him to help me snap green beans last night... Of course once we were eating he wanted full credit for the beans.

This was in between renditions of the same song over and over again at full volume. At the table.I finally joined in singing it as loud as I could without scaring B. And then I whispered it to see if he took the lead. It didn't take. Singing is his new thing. Along with a top called a Bey Blade that has entertained him exclusively for days now. Who needs a video game? A top. It's all the rage. Seeeeeeeee, simple pleasures. Smile.

There's so much more... so much! But that's all I have for tonight... along with this thought. Remember that scene in Say Anything when they have the volume turned up above the red line? We spend a lot of time above the volume line at the Casa. The music of our lives is loud.

A Five Star Restaurant Experience

Parental stripes. Medals of honor. Badges for bravery. I have this invisible patch I where on my shoulder. Parenthood deserves acknowledgement. So every now and then I award myself another star.

I developed this system at a truck stop, Thanksgiving 2006, when I threw Grant’s soiled clothes in the garbage. There was no other option. Awwww. My first star. The memories.

Quite a few of these “awards” have to do with poop. In fact, each of us earned a couple last week when Barrett and the rest of his class had it out with the craziest stomach bug to curse our house (yet). B even got a star of his own for bravery as he puked time and again…

Despite the constant amount of crazy in our life, after five years in uniform there are days when you feel like you’ve got the gig under control. There are days when you think for a minute you may have seen it all. Except something tells you there’s another surprise just around the corner. Such was the case tonight.

The boys needed hair cuts. It’s Easter weekend and my camera is charging. I have a vision, of the two of them, angelic in pastel blue and white, carrying their baskets and holding hands…

A girl can dream even it never quite looks the same in real life. Real life looks good too. It’s just wearing rain boots and carrying a water gun. Exhibit A: Easter Sunday 2009.

Anyhoo, Dad picked the kids up from school. I met them there in order to art direct the stylists. I am sure they love that…

The hair cut evening ritual involves moving from the barber chair next door to the pizza place. It was the usual chaos at dinner. Lots of bending over and picking up cups and forks. Lots of entertaining the troops while waiting for pizza to arrive. Attempts at conversation but lots of interrupted thoughts. Good news is we each had managed to down an adult beverage before the shit hit the fan. Literally.

When we noticed B was making THAT face we motioned to the waitress to bring the check. We were without a diaper bag on this venture. No life raft. No pacifier. No wipes. No diaper. No mention of who left home without the pack.

Of course, nothing would have really made a difference about the poop that had run down B’s leg onto his shoes, pooled in the high chair and dripped onto the floor…

The aroma was mixing with garlic and filling the air in the small restaurant when the waitress clued in and brought us a towel. She also brought the check. God bless her.

Deeda rushed to the parking lot his arms straight out – Mr. B dangling, dripping and laughing. G followed giggling. I signed the check. Tipped double. Wiped poo with paper napkins from the high chair and made a special request they take extra care in cleaning the high chair before the next child came along… Oh to think of the times our children have licked public high chairs…

By the time I arrived in the parking lot B had one shoe and one sock off. I bent down to get the rest and strategized with Christian about the next course of action. I give us extra points for generally laughing the entire time.

Thankfully G had a beach towel in the car from his picnic day at school. So we wrapped B up like a burrito and buckled him in. I’ve already blocked out most of the drive home but I do remember turning around to make sure he didn’t have his hands in his mouth to see him smiling, clapping and laughing. Meanwhile G was interjecting on our front seat strategy session with offers to hose him down. You could tell, big brother was frothed he might get to squirt him with a hose.

And so we hosed him down, bathed him, bleached him and put him to bed. Poo smell has permeated my nose hairs, but I am trying to kill it with a stiff drink. To quote one of G's favorite phrases, "Iiiit's the weeeeeeekend!" Easter weekend.

And then it was March (almost).

At risk of sounding like a broken record, I’ll go ahead and say it. I don’t know where the time goes.

I spent the entire day today on retreat in Galveston with one scrapbooking group of mamas. As I culled through a year’s worth of memories and put them in albums, I relived so many days we’ve spent with friends and family. That is why my work here is important. More time than I’d like passes between posts, but I do my best to record the big days and the little things here at the casa.

Since it’s been a while, I once again find myself tempted to attempt to recap e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. BUT in keeping with my theme for the year of forward motion, I am going to spend less time dwelling in the past and do my best to sum it up fairly quickly. Here’s the highlights real. Then I’ll finish with current events.

Christmas came again. My personal favorite part was a relatively quiet Christmas morning just the four of us. It was actually pretty noisy with the sound of new toys and squeals in the air but that’s the sound of Christmas. I venture G’s favorite part had to do with one Nerf Gun. A close second would be the whoopi cusion uncle Nathan brought. B’s favorite is a stuffed Mickey Mouse Santa brought. To this day, if you ask him where Mickey is, he will hold his hands up in wonder and go walking around to find him.

January brought good news. Nennie and Grandaddy are moving to Houston. Grandaddy is already here working and Nennie will follow when Aunt Alyssa heads to college in the fall. We’re so excited and looking forward to much more time together. We celebrated Deeda’s birthday with a memorable meal at Hearsay Gastro Pub. The mac n’ cheese took mac n’ cheese to new heights. I wrote down the cheeses included. The Jalepeno cocktail was also delish and Deeda was beside himself to find his favorite, Tres Generations.

This January we also tackled a project I set out to do last January-update our master bedroom. Thanks to Nana’s savvy shopping skills and design ideas we have a whole new look and we didn’t even break the bank. It was a bargain bonanza! Let’s just say $7.95 curtain panels.

February is our third and running birthday month at our house. Unfortunately, we started it out with a case of the flu that took out the entire Pre-K at G’s school. I may not have known this had I not called most of the class to reschedule his birthday party. Ultimately, we had one heckuva Jedi Training Star Wars party. Deeda did a bang up job developing Jedi lessons and making a movie with our family in the staring rolls of a funny Star Wars remake. Many points for Master Deeda. Props to G-man too for trying his very best to rally on the day his party would have been. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

While we’re on Star Wars, I also have to mention my post over at the Communications Plus blog. Once again, Volkswagon spoke to me. I’d swear directly. I seem to have always fallen into their target market.

I can’t let February’s recap go by without mentioning the viral rash/hives that took over Barrett’s body and changed shape daily for four days before disappearing as if nothing ever happened. Let’s just say, when I first saw him, I was woozy as if I might pass out. Best thing I can say about that long week is that while G recovered from the flu and got legal to go back to school, and B endured the rash in good spirits, we had a few days of togetherness we wouldn’t have had otherwise. In the midst of it, the sickness thing is stressful. Not only do my babies not feel well, but I feel stressed by missing work. The balancing act just gets more complicated. But on the other side, when the dust settles for a minute, I almost always look at it as an opportunity I had to hug them tighter, spend more hours in the day together and all in all become more aware of how grateful we are for two children who spend the majority of their days healthy and happy.

And here we are. Almost March. The rodeo season is kicking off with the cook off. The CP gang and spouses attended last night along with special guests Grandaddy and Uncle John. Thanks to our wonderful hosts/friends from Busters BBQ in Lakeway, we had a boot scootin’ good time.

So that’s the recap. What about today? Today B is getting two more teeth. That must be close to a mouthful… He loves to snuggle with his brother. And G tolerates it with patience and tenderness. G is super engrossed in star wars Legos. We go next week to register him for Kindergarten.

Tonight I am missing my boys. It’s been a very busy week with events each of the last three nights and though this time with my memories and my friends is wonderful, It will be equally as god to get home and settle in for another week.

Signing off. Let’s hope posts in 2011 are more frequent than quarterly.

Fastest. Fall. Ever.

Nutshell version in the something is better than nothing category.

October 4: Return from five lovely days in Mexico with Deeda. Barrett is walking!
October 9: Quick beach trip with the neighborhood gang.

October 16: B’s Bday. One. What? When? How? Sniff. Sniff.
October 24: Dewberry Farms for Tal's bday.

October 31: Halloween. School festival. Park Parade. Trick or treating and chocolate eating.
November 4: Touchdown, Washington, D.C. Megan Slack’s Wedding, Brunch with the Butera clan, a lot of walking, a cucumber mojito (or two) and one tired mama.
November 9: Livingston for the day. No rest for the weary.
November 10: Texas Conference for Women rocked and inspired.
November 12: Boulder bound. Buffs win. Party Party with old pals. There was a mechanical bull. There was a marvelous brunch.
November 20: Deeda goes to College Station. Aggies beat Nebraska. Record crowd!
November 24: Road Trip! Turkey Day in Dallas. Aggies win.
December 1: What month is it? Weren’t we on a beach in Playa a minute ago?
December 4: Tamale day. It’s official. The holiday season is here.
December 5: Santa came to the Sasser’s Christmas party. It's really official now.

Whew! It's been a whirlwind, but the best kind. We are so blessed with family and friends and our world revolved around both this fall.

In other news, today Barrett said "Bye-Bye" and blew a kiss for the first time. I melted.
He also says uh-oh, Mama, and all done.

G is beginning to read and loving his field trips. Today they went to see a Christmas play! He’s grown a full inch since mid-October and often just says for no reason at all, “Mom (0r dad), I love you.”

One.

Yesterday we celebrated B’s first birthday! At 10:33 a.m. I was rocking him for a nap. I noted the time, squeezed him tight and exhaled.

Something about one year birthdays are big to me. I remember feeling the exact same way at G’s first birthday. I felt like celebrating. I felt like I needed to take a deep breath.

I feel like I have been holding my breath a lot. Especially in the first few months. The fragile early, early days… The days that run together. When I try to think of those days now, I remember two days in particular. One day I consciously decided to do nothing but hold B and watch movies all day. We watched “Marley and Me.” The other stand out day was the day it snowed big huge flakes. The rest just runs together…

And then all of the sudden three months had gone by and it’s time to go back to “normal” life. And by the time everyone adjusts to the heartache of daycare drop offs and the daily schedule, six months has gone by. Total blur. That’s about the time I came to and get in enough of a rhythm to start trying to take in every little milestone. Next thing you know baby is mobile and everyone is just trying to keep up.

Add to the mix of life an especially crazy few months at the office, a shoulder surgery for deeda, and a much needed vacation for deeda and mama, and poof! Here we are. One year old! “And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?...Letting the days go by…."

As if at the moment he turned one he wouldn’t be a baby anymore, I spent a lot of time in the last weeks holding him closer and rocking him for longer than usual. And then the day came. And it went. On the flip side of the big birthday, I feel relief. He’s still a baby (for a little while longer, at least).

Friends and family joined us for a beautiful day. We had pumpkin cupcakes. Carmel apple dip. Popcorn. Bags of juice, wine and beer. We took the afternoon into evening with good friends. G may have had more fun than anyone... He got to open presents and have all his friends over.

As I get used to the idea of B being one. I get excited about what’s next. His personality is starting to show. Verbal communication is on the horizon! Formula’s days are numbered. When I think about it that way, I don’t know why I have this urge to cling to the babyhood. It‘s hard work! And they aren’t lying when they say it just gets better. Every year that has passed since G turned one has been more fun than the last.

I guess the clinging is just that they generally let you hold them and cuddle them at this age. And they smell so darn good. Boys don’t smell good the more they grow… pretty soon we’ll be one of those families that has to buy three gallons of milk at a time and we’ll have odor eaters on a regular rotation. I just flashed forward to imagine B at 10 and G at 13…

While we wait for the next milestones to arrive, here’s what I know about B at one year.

• The Bear is a lover. A real cuddle-bear. Has been from the get go.


• He is Zen-like easy going unless he’s hungry, tired or you need him to be still.


• He eats like a champ and likes almost everything he’s tried. However, it’s important to know he has an affinity to fruit and starches. If you offer him either of these first, all bets are off for whatever else is on the plate.


• He doesn’t do scheduled naps, but he does sleep like a champ. He’s slept consistently all night since about three months...


• He would climb the Empire State Building without hesitation, but he’s tentative about taking more than 4 or 5 steps at a time. Maybe it’s the feet. If he were a puppy I’d predict Great Dane at full size.


• He wants to walk all the time but since he thinks he needs a hand, he recruits whoever he can to tour with him around the house. He had Pops, Papa Mark and Uncle John on rotation yesterday.


• He wakes up happy and sings to himself while he patiently awaits the arrival of a groggy parent in his doorway. And when we arrive, his little head pops up and he breaks a smile you can barely see from behind the paci, but can completely see in his eyes.


• When he says mama, I melt. He also says all done, yeah and a-da (which is code for dada).


• He will tell you how it is if you had him a telephone. He gets the device is for talking.


• He loves his brother and any attention he gives him. G’s fake whistle is a particular crack up.


• He usually waves with both hands. He doesn’t wave on command as much as when he feels like it. He particularly feels like waving while riding in his new blue car.


• When he smiles he wrinkles his nose and puts his teeth together like a professional. He loves to see the camera come out and is usually good for a few smiles before he resorts to trying to get a hold of the camera.


• When he’s happiest, he laughs a noise that sounds something like a cold car starting. Eaaaaaaack! Eaaaaaack! Eaaaaaaack!
  
  

Couldn't leave off without a photo of G. He's a wonderfully giving brother. He was kind enough to open all of B's presents for him... in addition to giving his brother his own beloved "BC" blanket and pillow. All on his own he initiated this thoughtful gift of his own secuirty blanket and offered it the very first thing on the morning of B's birthday. He has the biggest heart!

Freeze Frame

A snapshot of our life: This evening there was some confusion between the words piñata and piano at our house. For a few minutes there, G had us all completely confused. He knew he had it wrong but every time he opened his mouth to say piano, piñata came out. We all laughed and he finally got it right…

Got to cherish those moments. The look on G’s face as he sounded out the word syllable for syllable, the prideful giggle that followed and the exchange of a glance between me and Deeda. The little things that prove G is still a little kid. The reminders are few and further between.

He just looks more mature in the face. He wears fancy tennis shoes and has favorite T-shirts he knows are cool. He sings Cheeseburger in Paradise and names the Foo Fighters as his favorite band. When Deeda carries him to the bathroom to brush teeth (a ritual 'round here) he looks long and his feet look huge. He is long. His feet are huge. Size 11.5 (and I have a size 12 in waiting). Other than the occasional vocab slip up or teary tired moment, the kid has really grown in the last few months. He’s writing his name, sounding letters and doing simple math at school. I think about where he was at the time of B’s birth and it seems like he’s come nearly as far as the little one. Leaps and bounds.

Of course, I feel like I could literally see B grow if I looked closely. It’s insane. At bedtime these days, we say “night-night.” He waves! And we go rock. We moved the rocker into his room about when he stopped falling asleep in the middle of whatever chaos was going on in the living room. Still the easiest child to put to bed, he’s typically asleep before I can sing a single round of Twinkle Twinkle. Rocking him to sleep is a pure joy and every night I hold him for a while as he sleeps so I can appreciate his babyhood. It’s the kind of moment I know I have to soak up. It’s the kind of moment that, tonight at 7:42, inspired me to get this entire thought process on paper.
Here we are and already B is ten months and a few days. It’s time to order birthday invitations. He’s been on the outside longer than it took to “grow him.” These are the last couple of months we count in measures of months... Sippy cups are in play. Bottles are less frequent… Crawling is turbo-charged and standing and stepping from one piece of furniture to another close by is a favorite game along with Peek-a-boo.

Tonight as we rocked I was thinking about how these are the best months of babyhood. There’s a routine in our life that’s in greater than three hour increments. Plus, he’s got all kinds of interactive tricks that are very entertaining. Most importantly, he’s still a baby by most accounts. He still feels like a baby, with his head in the corner of my arm, even if his feet are sticking out from under the other arm a quarter of a mile…He still looks like a baby in his footy PJ’s with his paci. He still sounds like a baby when he cries to be picked up or because I took my phone out of his hand… And he still smells like a baby just after bath and when he spits up all over his shirt each and EVERY morning when we put him in the car seat to go to school (there’s a magic button or something).

It’s in these months, the second time around (and almost certainly the last time for us) that I feel like I fully realize and appreciate the importance of soaking up the baby things before they completely disappear. And it’s this feeling—that can feel like sadness from time to time—that turns into the most genuine gratitude I have ever felt. All is right in the world for a few minutes while we rock. It’s this feeling—that can feel like sadness from time to time—that has me living more in the moment than I have since I was a child myself.

Ask my other half, I have been guilty on many occasions of making myself miserable by trying to look waaaaay down the road. I’ve wanted a detailed photo of what the future looked like. I wanted promises and guarantees. I didn’t realize it before now, but as a mom, I’ve flip-flopped. In fact, I’ve nearly neglected the future. Since G was born, I’ve been so focused on right now I haven’t looked down the road much… too busy to think beyond right this minute. This weekend. This month. Unless you’re trying to plan something with us, in which case as much advanced warning as possible is critical to getting on the agenda. We’ve got a lot of obligations you know. Always something…

I am in the process of balancing the future with the now. Living in the now—which is more than getting through the day. Planning for tomorrow, while appreciating tonight. Both are important. The kids grow up… all too soon, the kids grow up… When it comes to aging, the future always seems to arrive quickly. The future is all on the brain these days. It’s unclear in a lot of respects. I am thinking about how I want five years from now to look. 10 years from now. 20. In a good way, not the paralyzing way of the past.

In the mean time, I know this for sure: these days of being the parents of young children are a short time in our life. In reality it’s just a few years. I want to make the very most of them. So, that when we look back, it feels like longer than it was. It feels like longer than it was because there are so many wonderful memories made in this time—the short time is so rich.

I can draw a parallel to college. It was only four years (thank you very much), but so much happened during that time—it was such a great time—that when I look back it seems like a majority of my life's memory. In actuality, it was just a small fraction. And real quick, while on that topic, I’ll just add how excited I am about the plans in the works for the fall. Boulder, here we come.

We celebrated my uncle Steve’s 70th birthday over the weekend. A friend of his he’s known since he was 7 or 8 years old attended the gathering. That’s so cool. I hope my oldest friends make it to my 70th. I feel certain for Steve and his childhood friend David, “life moved pretty fast” (I loosely quote Ferris Bueller). Happy Birthday Steve!

At the same party, I visited with a friend and her 18 year old son. I remember when he was probably 5 or 6. Basically G’s age. How did he get to be 18? So. Fast. It was a couple days after the party that I saw a photo of the same mother and son on Facebook and it brought me to tears. I am certain it seems like yesterday that she sent him off to Kindergarten. I see in his face the little boy he was… but it’s just barely there. I see in her eyes the pride in what he’s become…Freaks me out. Here’s why…

On Monday we marked the first day of school and the first annual Boo Hoo Breakfast for my neighborhood circle of moms. It was an occasion worthy of a vacation day in the name of fun, total relaxation and distraction for a mama worried about her baby on his first day. I was happy to support my dear friend (with mimosas) when she returned from walking her little boy to the school around the corner for Kindergarten. I remember being 23 thinking my coworker was crazy when she showed up teary on the first day of school. I had no idea. But now. Now! I know that this school year will fly by and in the blink of an eye it will be my turn to take my first BABY to school. And about a minute after that, it will be Baby B’s turn… Make it stop. Just for a minute. Freeze the frame.


Remember this scene from Big? I couldn't find the whole thing... but this gives you the idea. It does seem like they grow up overnight sometimes.

sassy supersicle

There sure have been some good stories since the last post.

Like the Father's Day when G was so tired he fell asleep about 6:30 p.m. and when we woke him up to go to bed and Deeda shuffled him to the bathroom to potty, G literally pottied on Deeda, at which time Deeda's Father's Day celebration was truly complete.

Like G's first sleep over with Tal where I noticed the two of them playing like real friends do. Not playing side by side but feeding off each other... taking one another's imaginary world and making it their own...building a story together. Taking turns. It really was something to see. A major milestone as far as I am concerned.

Like B's first words... Da! Da! and every now and then you'd swear he spits out a sentence... in between motor boating. He loves to motor boat.

Just in the last week, at nine months on the dot, B has started with major protests when we take something from him or when he doesn't get what he wants. waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It's new enough that it still makes me laugh...but before long we'll have to figure out how to take care of that.

Last week G wanted to wear his "Clark Kent" clothes, as in a button down shirt and clip on tie, to school because his new girlfriend Andrea wants him to dress fancy. I asked him what happen to Isabelle (the ex) and he said he just can't decide... good!

The other day I picked G up from school. The class was on the playground and G was sitting to the side pouting. The teacher made it clear hew was beating himself up more than he really needed to... so I went over and asked what happened. He didn't look up. He mumbled, "I used my super powers on Taylor." Now, I am not going to tell the child he doesn't have super powers. I just reminded him to use them for good, not bad. No kicking allowed.

There is something blogworthy nearly every single day at our house. I love that. But I haven't been good about keeping up...

Time flies. And that's what inspired me to sit down and quick get at least something down tonight. Because this morning... just before 6 a.m., B was making noise in his bed and Deeda brought him to our bed where he cooed and snuggled in back to sleep. Just after 6, G came in, his feet flopping all the way... and he crawled in next to me laying as close as he could. Still, snuggly, and quiet. And we layed there. And I thought to myself: these days are numbered. It's just that at these ages, it works as part of our routine.

Now, there are a lot of mornings when the four of us in one bed isn't so sweet. G is kicking, B is pulling up and playing with the blinds, I just want a few more minutes of sleep... and then B spits up all over Deeda and pretty much from then, it's "everyone up." But this morning, it was wonderful. The four of us. Before the morning madness began...

Look at these cuties. B is 9 mos with 7 teeth. G is 4 and a half and he is totally into superheroes.

Summer Fun's in Full Swing

I've been writing this post for a long while, saving it for a time when corresponding photos are ready to upload. But the post just keeps getting longer... and the photos keep getting put off. So, here's the recap of our May... Photos will follow. Promise.

At the start of May, Deeda and I basically said, "see you next month" and let the craziness ensue. As a result, I have actually come to realize that relaxing may, in fact, be easier away from the casa than at the casa. For one, sometimes the kids aren't with you when you're not at home... Two, when they are with you, there are more hands around to hold them. Three, I can't do the weekend list of chores if I am not here. So, I have no choice but to chill. That all said, I find myself weary after all our adventures in the last 30 days. AND I maintain that a weekend at home with no todos is about as good as (and in our case as rare as) a vacation.

May saw not one but two conventions for The Dental Network. Deeda is still brimming with new and exciting ideas... The boys and I managed swimmingly on our own, complete with a 7:30 a.m. meeting on day three. Made it on time thank you very much.


On the heals of Deeda's his out of town adventures I spent three nights in Orlando with the CP gang learning software stuff and having a great time. It was a working event but something about Florida, a hotel and dinner among good friends made is seem an awful lot like vacation to me. To top it off, we went to see the Blue Man Group. It's a visual feast and laughing felt so good. Meanwhile, Deeda and the boys seemed to manage just fine on their own... nonetheless, I bought $40 worth of Spiderman guilt gifts at the Orlando airport. Deeda is really the one who deserved a gift.

In between Deeda's convention and my conference we squeezed in a trip to Austin. We played with the Slack's on their boat and had our inaugural meal at Buster's Barbecue, a new venture Nana and Papa are enjoying being a part of. It was a quick but good visit.

Memorial Day weekend, we hit the road for Dallas to enjoy what has become somewhat of a family tradition of pool time and catching up with Grandaddy, Nennie and the Perritte aunts. Though, none of us stand a chance of catching up with Aunt Alyssa, it was good to work on our tans.

I am happy to report G seems to have retained his swimming skills. That said, he nearly had to sit the swim time out after a good bonk on the chin the previous weekend that resulted in two stitches. The minor emergency experience was truly the best it could have been. He didn't hit his head on the side of the neighborhood pool. Just the chin. Thank heavens. We didn't have to wait in the ER for hours. Thank heavens. And nobody passed out. A dose of good judgement told me to leave the room. And G was super brave about the whole thing. His bravery is truly an inspiration. I could see the fear in his eyes, and at the very same time the courage. Have I mentioned once or twice in this space how proud I am of that boy?

This past weekend, we made a long weekend of it in Galveston enjoying some quality time with the Bromley's and some new friends, too. Accommodations were superb! It's good to know people who know people... In total we had six kids and six adults. The 1:1 ratio is excellent for beach going. G reported tonight at bedtime (in a moment of clarity amidst total delirium brought on by total exhaustion) his favorite parts were playing at the beach, making sandcastles and sleeping on the top bunk! My favorite parts were the good friends, good food, good photo ops and a good look at the starry sky with Deeda.

Already we've had a lot of adventures this summer and the fun has just begun. All this traveling and some really good advertising makes me wonder about the swagger wagon...

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is my new favorite holiday. Today I was completely selfish and kept the boys all to myself. I had a little piece of heaven with each of them. My best days and my favorite memories are the ones we make when we're home with no agenda other than being a family.

The first actually came yesterday when Deeda came waltzing across the front yard at a block party like a knight in shining armor coming to the rescue after three nights away from home. I wasn't expecting him and I have to admit, I literally had to catch my breath. I was truly happy to see him. I missed him and secondarily, I missed his help.

The second came with the Bear this morning... we had one of those interactions that's a little deeper than the average coo and hair pulling. I can see the wheels spinning behind his eyes.

Later, G and I chilled on the sofa. We rested under the blanket, watched the world outside through the picture window and chatted about our plans for the afternoon.

Other highlights include a brief dance party G, B and Deeda stirred up. The giggling coming from G's room was enough to draw me in with the video camera. Later G and Deeda washed my car while B and I napped. The house was daytime quiet. The kind of quiet I usually only get late at night. daytime quiet is way better because it's rare. Very rare.

It was really a great day. I didn't do any laundry today. Even though it's piled up waiting for me. We didn't go to the store today... and I don't have our weekly meal plan in place....

We hit the neighborhood pizza joint for an early dinner. It was dinner out with a four year old and a 6 month old. It wasn't the most relaxing... Who's big idea was it anyway? (mine). But it was good. And the kitchen was clean when we got home. Best of all... on our way out the door a woman looked at me and said, "your children were so well-behaved." Whoever you are, nice lady at the restaurant, THANK YOU. Thanks for noticing. We're trying our very best!

Picture Spring

Last month I took an online photography class hosted at Big Picture Scrapbooking and taught by the wonderful Tracey Clark of Shutter Sisters. I had a great time!

I learned of the class at the (now somewhat infamous) Mom 2.0 conference (because I can't stop talking about it). And though I was skeptical that I would be able to make time to shoot a photo every day, I thought I'd try. In the end, I came close. There were times when I had to play catch up, but I am proud to say I completed 29 of 30 assignments. Letting myself have that one, is a lesson in and of itself.

Carrying the camera with me even to and from the office provided more opportunities than I imagined it would. I also had time to play with and learn more about my still new Birthday lens. Most of all, I was inspired and truly enjoyed interacting with the class and posting my images to the classroom gallery. Many a night I was up far too late "playing." Having a personal project in the works rather than on a perma-back burner does wonders for my mental state of "not having enough time."

The hardest assignment (I thought) was a self portrait. That was day #2 or #3 and I thought, "oh lord, I can't do this." But I did. And I included the portraits in this slide show to prove it. My favorite assignment was probably "catch lights" because it was all about catching the light in eyes. I had two wonderful subjects for that one! Past that, I had a good time playing with shallow depth of field and blown out color.

I feel like the collection I came up with documents what turned out to be a month of some major milestones. B crawled for the first time and G learned to ride his bike without training wheels. Moreover, the blooms that were just beginning on April 1 had fully sprung by the end of the month. And, I admit there are a lot of flowers here. But flowers are easy targets for a girl with a camera AND let's not forget the class was called Picture Spring.

On April 29, my photo was featured on Shutter Sisters. I thought I might burst when I clicked there to see who the instructor picked to feature that day! Because no matter how often my mom (love you mom) and the rest of the family comment on my photos, a little recognition from Tracey Clark felt REALLY good.

I planned all along to somehow collect and share the photos. The slide show posted here seemed like a good way to share with everyone. Quality is degraded in a big way... but it was fun to put together. For the high quality version, I am going to print a photo book. It will be fun to flip through in about 20 years.

Dee Dog

Last Friday Deeda and I had to choose to let our Dee dog go so she could take her place in heaven. Even though, there was no question it was time, I would consider it among the hardest things we’ve ever had to do.

Dee was our first child. A problem child, but our first child. Despite her somewhat unfavorable habits that became affectionately named “dumpster diving” and “jail breaks,” we loved her deeply and she loved us back with thousands of daily greetings, kisses and leg humping, of course.

Before G arrived, we were concerned about how she would react to becoming a big sister. She never disappointed. In fact, her patience was amazing. She, too, came to love G despite the fact he dethroned her. Likewise, G came to love her. The grief that came over him when I told him the news was heartbreaking, but heartwarming at the same time. While my own grief multiplied when I felt his too, I also felt proud of his ability to love so truly. And later, as we continued to discuss heaven and God, I was warmed by his questions about where “exactly” heaven is, how you get there and how many hands God must have to make all the animals and people in the world.
I literally watched Dee age over the last couple years and more so in the last few months as her geriatric problems multiplied. Guided by a wonderful vet we managed her medical problems as best we could with meds. But last Wednesday, she couldn’t get comfortable. By Thursday she wasn’t walking. Friday the vet seemed to think she had “thrown a clot” or essentially had a stroke. She wasn’t eating…

The house has been quiet. No knock at the back door. No clanking collar at the water bowl. No snoring. Man, she could bring the house down…

We’ve moved the trash can to the kitchen, but keep going to the laundry room with the garbage. I shut the gate before I get out of my car, just the same as I used to, and I am reminded there’s no dog waiting to escape or wagging her tail at the back door.

She is missed. There is a void. We’ve suffered a lot of family loss in just a few months… it’s never easy. But losing something that’s been a part of everyday is especially difficult. Dee was truly one of a kind. Our poo poo head.

All About April

B is six months old. How can that be? In one week he had his six month shots, crawled across the living room floor and sprouted his first tooth. Busy week for the little guy.

Specs: He weighs in at 18 lbs 12 oz, he’s 27.25” long and his head is 18”.

The new thing is a whining thing… in a cute way… almost the way a puppy whimpers with excitement. mmmmmm. mm.mmmmm.mmm.mmmm.

He continues to be an easy, easy (knock on wood) baby who virtually puts himself to sleep and stays that way (knock on wood again).

He thinks G is the funniest thing EVER. In fact, while mom and dad can get an occasional laugh, G is the one who can really get him going. Already, that baby wants to be where his big brother is and playing with whatever his big brother is playing with. He even seems to have an affinity for Buzz and Lightning.

Big brother remains cooler than ever with sharing his stuff and his parents with the little one. He loves the little guy as much as we do. He also loves riding his bike. One afternoon a couple weeks ago Mr. Claus caught his attention and convinced him he could do it without training wheels (we’d be trying but must have sounded something like the Charlie Brown teacher). Not unlike learning to jump off the diving board or catch a baseball, the pride and accomplishment this child feels when he learns something new is wonderful to witness. He sits awfully tall and proud on that bike seat.

He’s also learning to write his name and is more and more into writing notes and drawing. His favorite thing to draw right now is people. Super heroes and families we know are among his favorite subjects.

We saw the end of the first Tball season last weekend... Best part about it? I think he likes the trophey (a.k.a. his Piston Cup a la Cars) as much as anything... maybe short his LA Dodgers hat which he pretty much hasn't taken off since he got it.

the moves

I read somewhere that this is the golden age of babyhood. B is 5 months (22 weeks today) and is such a happy boy.

I know because he offers up big smiles all the time. Huge smiles. They come over his face starting with his mouth up to his eyes and I swear his ears probably wiggle as the wave of emotion passes over his face. It's a process. Wide on both sides... Which reminds me how Grant's smiles at this age used to remind us of Harrison Ford... crooked from one side to the other.

B has some moves these days. His favorite is the two legged kick. It's almost like he's going to do that break dance move where you lay on your back, kick and arch your back until suddenly you're standing... you know the one? I wouldn't be suprised to see him do it. I mean, he's been doing his cruches... got the stomach muscles all toned. Seriously, he lifts his melon and his shoulders up off the floor trying to sit all the way. If he could get his spine to stiffen up, he'd be upright, all the time. Won't be long...

Move number two is impressive for a boy this age. The inch worm. (isn't that also a break dance?) Just this week, we've noticed some major progress in his tummy time scooting. I've seen him full on, up on his knees a couple times.... then he works his body like an inch worm along the floor right off the blanket we have down, onto the rug and then he spits up. on the rug. nine times ouf of 10. Never on the blanket. truly. never. on. the. blanket.

Yes, we still have spit up like no other. The bibs and burb cloths are in constant rotation. we change clothes a lot more, too and the result is truly a mountain of laundry. I folded for a full hour the other night. I was behind... and I was determined to clear the dining room table... but seriously, an hour? That's a lot of folding.

We started solids about a month ago. Just following the four month appointment. At first he wasn't so sure. And we didn't have a good routine in place, so it was total chaos. Now we've finally fallen into the mode of feeding B while our dinner cooks. Then he's usually pretty cooperative and content to hang and digest while we eat. He's had all his fruits and I am starting veggies Monday.

B has found his voice in a big way... it started about a month ago with squeels of delight. Loud ones! Now, he "talks" to his toys and you can tell when he's giving them a talking to... he wants to do more than he can...

His coordination has come on so strong. When he reaches out for a toy, he usually gets it these days. He will hold his pacifier in his hand and from time to time, get it back into his mouth.

He "sings" in the car to and from school. And tonight he hummed himself to sleep in my arms, smelling all yummy with his hair all freshly washed and fuzzy.

And I realize, now I am just making a list. But at least I am getting the list of all these things out of my head and into the record. I know from experience with G that I won't remember. I am constantly referencing my journals with G, trying to piece togehter timetables of when what happens and when he did what.

To quote Ferris Bueler, "Life moves pretty fast..." We celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss earlier this month. As part of our celebration* we showed G the wedding video. He was super impressed and liked our costumes a lot. It was so fun to see everyone 10 years ago. Especially the kids. G didn't beleive for one second that baby in the video was his cool cousin Alex...

About the same time as our anni, G's teacher Miss Vanessa became Mrs. Vanessa and went on a honeymoon to Disney (which G thought sounded like a great idea. In fact, he's currently planning our next vacation. He wants to go back to Sam's house in Colorado and to the beach).

Anyway, the wedding talk seems to have made an impression on my eldest ladies man. So much so he's made a move on his classmate Isabella and they have announced their plans to marry. She's going to wear her snow white costume and G is going to where his daddy's tuxedo. This talk has been going on consistently for weeks. And just this week we got an invitation to her house for a housewarming party. Of course, we have to go. Meet the inlaws and all...

A real ladies man we are raising here. This kid literally picked up several cute and sassy divas in their 20s outside a cupcake store in uptown park on a Friday night. It was our anniversary* we celebrated with the entire extended family at Cafe Express. I wanted to do something special with G so we dashed to the cupcake store across the way (where they incidentally charge $36/doz). On our way out, he says "Hi ladies, we got some good cupcakes."

That G. He's a real softy. Sensitive type... he hugged B the other day in the kitchen and B really did kinda hug him back, wrapped his arm around his neck and cooed. It was a real moment. I looked at G and thought he might cry. He realized it was a moment every bit as much as I did. On the opposite end of the spectrum, G was getting in a bit of trouble tonight. I was standing in the hall, holding B facing outward with one arm and pointing my finger at G while I lectured with a raised voice on the reasons not to goof around until you fall down and get hurt in the bathroom. Anyway, B must have been smiling at G while I was bitching. Cuz, G glanced at his Bro and kinda smirked in the middle of his pout. And I saw my future flash before my eyes! These two already have a brotherly form of communication and a bond... and it's only just begun.

I can't let the update go without mentioning the stomach virus we barely suvived last week. Had us down like dominoes, on a 24 hour rotation nearly to the minute. Probably picked it up in the doc office while there for B's ear infection... which I thought was a sinus infection since G had that along with a fever the week before. Wellness would be so nice, but I know the casa won't be truly rested or well for a few more months. I have found myself in a total daze more often. Just out of it. Need to find a way to get my me time and my sleep in.

In extracurricular news:

Deeda put in a great stent for the 2010 HSL&R. I think it's safe to say on his behalf he thoroughly enjoys the work, loves the cause and the commraderie. He even got G a spot in the grand entry parade, carrying on what I will officially call a family tradition.

T-ball is super fun. Practice on tuesdays, games on saturdays...Tball at age four is really something. In his first game, G's was standing on third when the coach told him to "run after the ball." Coach meant, run home after the batter hits the ball. Grant heard what he said literally and when the ball was hit, G dashed into the outfield after the ball. It was like something from a movie. complete with the visual of a tiny child in a HUGE batting helmet looking like a bobble head running after the ball.

I hosted an event for about 30 Friends of Red at the casa last night...wine was a good draw for some bonding and furthering the effort to turn the great school around the corner into a neighborhood school again. I am also enrolled in a photo class for the month of April and continue to be inspired by bread crumbs I am following from my new connnections at Mom 2.0.

So- I think that's the summary. Geeeshh... it's a lot! I wouldn't blame anyone for not reading ALL THIS blabbing... but at this point, I am just trying to catch up and maintian the family record. Once again, I will vow to post more often. shorter blurbs. more reader friendly. I know.

****************************************

* Oh yeah, the asterisks. I didn't want to interrupt the story I was telling to stop and tell another. I don't know why, but I really was feeling a lot of anticipation and excitement for ouranniversary this year. Ten years! It's a big deal. So much has happen in that time and it's a nice even number to measure just how much has gone down. One tile kitchen floor. Two houses. Two kids. Vacations. Infamous nights out. A lot of nights at home (the best)...

Anyhoo, we had great intentions to get away or at least get out for a better than average date night. As it turned out, Deeda babysat while I spent the evening on our anniversary with the Raben clan due to the death of dear Mamu/Rubye's. Her death was both a loss and a blessing. She will be missed.

The days that followed were frustrating. We had a house full of family... we wanted to celebrate our anniversary... and I wanted to be with the family too... We didn't even have sufficient time to exchange cards until nearly a week later... much less have a real talk and contemplate our life together... I was so frustrated over the whole thing. Did I mention I was frustrated?

And then I made an important realization. A distinction really. Marriage is about two people, yes. But it's also about family. It's the whole enchilda. And even though the family stuff was all in our face and seemed to be impairing our anniversary celebration, in the end it helped me see that. I am so grateful for our family. All of them. I wrote something really good to that end in C's card. It was better than what I am coming up with right now. But you get the gist.

Mom 2.0 Inspired

Since it would surely be sacrilege to attend Mom 2.0 and not post something about it on my blog, here goes.

This conference, geared toward mom bloggers, celebrated motherhood, talked about maintaining authenticity in the face of marketing endorsements and encouraged this influential market to use its collective voice to its full potential. Talk of how the community of mom bloggers (though built in cyberspace, it really is a community) raises their audience up by sharing their experiences was another recurring theme. It's true. No doubt. Reading and relating to a story feels good. It reminds me I am not the only one whose life feels like this.

And that’s just the most concise way I can offer the gist of what was covered over two days. There’s plenty more, but what I really want to get to is the feelings my time among these amazing ladies elicited. I left the Four Seasons hotel Saturday afternoon, empowered, inspired, high, mindful, grateful, warm AND fuzzy. I wanted to figure out how to bottle the mix of emotions. I hardly remember driving home, I was so lost in thought. I came straight to my keyboard to put down some notes. Anything to capture the essence of the day. And then I remembered what drew me to the event in the first place. This feeling had already been bottled!


No wonder this video has gone truly viral. More than 50,000 hits last I looked. This piece by Katherine Center is, to me, the essence of what keeps me going when I feel like this motherhood gig is too much. This is important work, and it is work. The line “what you’re doing matters” was a theme of Mom 2.0. It’s a phrase I will repeat to myself again and again.

I’ve been a little hoodoovoodoo about this whole thing since I stumbled upon it about a month ago. It just seemed like the universe aligned to get me there. I am so glad it did.

It actually started last summer. I was in Kinkos dropping off a Fed Ex. A little girl approached me and said,

“My mommy wrote a book. You should read it.”

She handed me a card. I smiled at the girl and her mom and walked out the door having a little conversation with myself about how a mom would find time to write a book and how cute it was that the girl was so proud of her mom…. I put the card in my wallet.

Flash forward. About three weeks ago. I come across the card. I start bumping around and see the video. I watch it twice (and 20 times since) and tear up. So good! At the end I notice the mention of Opmom. Opmom.com (now http://www.thetastefullife.com/) is the site my friend Carrie Pacini started… It is a small world after all. Hmmmm? Wheels turning, already inspired and I hadn't even registered yet.

When I got to the speaker list, I was floored. The lineup was truly incredible. The more I read, the more excited I got. Admittedly, what excited me the very most was a bit of star power. One of my absolute favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong, was booked as a keynote.

For my grandparent readership, Heather Armstrong was on the list of Forbes Most Influential Women in Media in 2009. Number 26. If you read her post at dooce.com about being number 26 you’ll get a sense for why I love reading her blog. Her success as a blogger is groundbreaking. She also just penned a deal with HGTV. Quite a case study. Above all, she makes me laugh and sometimes I really need a laugh. She writes (for all the world to read) the kind of things I only say in my head. I relate to her. We’re a lot alike. Only she’s on the Forbes list with Oprah and Barbra WaWa.

And here comes the point. The source of some of the empowerment that came for me personally at Mom 2.0 is the fact that we are alike. I sat there in awe of Heather Armstrong, and so many other ladies I met. So many. And guess what? They aren’t so different from me. Short of the long: I left reminded that I can accomplish big, cool and powerful things, too. I don’t know what big things I am out to accomplish, but being reminded I can is a start.

It’s easy to get busy getting by. Day to day. Hamster wheel syndrome. “Time to make the donuts”… Time to feed the baby. Time to go to work. Doldrums. It happens to me and I am one of the lucky ones who really loves my husband, kids and work. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be unhappy in any of these areas AND live in the wheel.

This is not to say that the daily grind isn't part of "what matters." It all matters. Cooking dinner on a weeknight can be a chore, but sitting down to the table as a family matters. It all matters. The good. The bad. And the ugly. It's all part of life and very necessary.

It's just that to set out to do big, cool and powerful things, I need some time to focus on something besides the things that are required. Getting up and going to work is required. Doing laundry is required. The store. Picking up the house. The good ole todo list. It should be called the have to list. By the time all the perquisites are done, there’s not much time left (if any) to dive into the higher level coursework so to speak. The want to list.

Time to move up from Life 101. Step one: make and take time to daydream and formulate full thoughts, theories and ideas. Time to be me. Not mommy me. Not wife me. Not marketer me. Just me. So, I can be open to and look for inspiration. I love being all those other versions of myself. But after Mom 2.0 kids, I need to be the first version of myself from time to time.

I am one of bajillions of women desperate for some time to herself. I get it. I am not saying anything new here. I am just saying, this event reminded me how powerful taking the time can be. By taking time to find passion and enthusiasm we live bigger, better lives. When I go out and get empowered, I bring it home to the dinner table for the boys to see. The "time out" I took last week is really all it took to stop fussing, breathe, get inspired and fired up. Battery charged. It was so worth it. It was so simple. It was super special. I am still flying!